Saturday, October 06, 2007Y
12:41 PM
jus woke up not long ago.. bathe n was all prepare to go out le.. but there is oways last min de ting bahx.. jus nice as i was opening the door to go out.. she sms mi saying she not feeling well so dun wanna mit le.. was feeling so pek chek wif myself lahx.. so jiu jus close back the door n went back into the room..i was so happy n so eager to c her.. but i gus its jus bai kai xin le yi chang bahx.. den dunno y.. im feeling so super damn emo now again.. so lucky tat no one is awake to c mi crying now..i oso dunno y suddenly i will start crying again.. jus feeling damn sad lahx.. my xin is jus so tong now.. tong to the extend i rly dunno how to describe it now..
came back into the room n on com.. once in the first ting i did was to go into her blog to read if there is any updates.. but yea.. there is no updates but.. i was kinda veri sad when i c something.. i aint the first in her everything liaox le.. not anymore le bahx i gus.. tink someone has already taken over my place in her liaox le..
tats y sometimes i say.. even if rly one day im gone she will still hav lots of others to care for her to love her.. n now tings hav prove mi rite le bahx.. so afterall.. am i still tat impt to her in her life anymore mahx.. i dunno.. n i dunno if i still wanna noe anymore anot.. i kinda rly cant take tis type of ta ji anymore liaox le.. im breaking down le..
anyway.. i can blame no one at all.. its my fault for all tis tat happens.. i aint a good bf at all.. i dunno y i jus cant take it tat she has change to wat she is now n y i jus cant control but to say her.. if i jus accept her changes n all n not saying her.. i gus everything will be still fine bahx.. i hate myself tons.. qian cuo wan cuo duo shi wo de cuo..
gus i going out liaox le bahx.. even if its jus mi alone going out.. i can go somewhere quiet somewhere wif less ppl to let my feelings out.. gus im jus a crybaby afterall bahx.. good bye ppl.. n rly thks alot for those hu do rly care for mi.. rly thks alot.. n is there anyone out there willing to go drink wif mi mahx.. if there is pls cal or sms mi pls.. thks..