had some arguements wif bi last nite.. den after tat tink was okie le bahx.. so yea.. den jiu went to slp.. till tis morning wake up n go for work..
reach there den jiu start working liaox le.. was feeling so slpy sia.. boohoo.. but yea.. slpy still gotta work oso.. so no choice.. den till abt 1 den went to hav lunch.. after lunch continue work again till abt 5+ den finish bahx i tink.. cab down to redhill wif the rest.. den jiu took train to mit bi liaox le.. going to eat popeye for lunch..
everything so still so perfect at tis time till tat fucker called.. n tat fucker which was my dad started making noise.. like wtf lahx.. if got recal i myself wont noe de mehx.. nd u to teach mi wat to do mehx.. wtf.. den we end up wif a heated quarrel.. feel like going straight hm to ask him wat does he exactly wans.. fucking hell.. so wat if u r strong.. u wanna a poece of mi n come try get mi.. ccb..
eat popeye n slack awhile den jiu head back le.. send bi back hm den i jiu cab to my aunty hse.. dun feel like going back to c tat fucker face.. rly feel like whacking him liaox le.. i buay tahan liaox le..
there is gonna be work again tml.. tink not much bahx.. so hope it will finish off soon.. now going to slp liaox le bahx.. tired liaox le.. nites..
tink maybe i will be gone from here for quite sometimes bahx.. blah.. gones..
continue from ytd bahx.. after blogging jiu lie flat liaox le sia.. den jiu slp all the way till tis morning den wake up.. nv eat dinner oso.. actually got load show wanna watch.. but u noe.. after lie down jiu lazy wake up le.. hahas.. ;x
went to work tis morning again.. but container still haven come yet.. den wait till pek chek sia.. ard 11+ den come.. end abt 1+ lidat bahx.. finish le den go eat lunch jiu go back hm liaox le..
wanna ask bi out today de.. as tml i will be working n dunno will work till wat time.. so today got free time jiu ask her wan anot.. but yea.. since im blogging now u shld noe the ans oso bahx.. nvm bahx.. suan le.. sms halfway jiu oso gone liaox le.. dunno wat she is so busy abt recently oso.. dun care bahx..
gonna go rest early tonite le.. tml will be a tiring day bahx.. cos got alot tml.. hope can finish as soon as possible.. ;)
suppose to start work next monday de.. but i ytd jiu start work liaox le.. cos kinda boring at hm n got nth to do.. den oso no one free to pei mi.. so yea.. jus be myself n go back to my working life bahx.. tats mi.. oways slogging my time away working.. n i find tat working kinda prevent mi from tinking so much.. but still sometimes i do still tink while at work lahx.. wat to do..
finish work ytd quite late.. den reach hm jiu ard 8 lidat le.. den bathe le actually wanna go mit kenneth eat de.. but den b4 i go out quarrel wif my dad.. so jiu jitao go out liaox le.. din went hm last nite.. went to mit kenneth den go hav dinner den walk walk all tis lohx.. till tis morning straight go work.. kinda stone tis morning lahx.. hahas..
den work work work.. n today.. the stupid container delay again.. i hate it when tis happens.. cos i will hav to wait wait wait.. oways wait.. everything oso wait de.. rwarr.. so end up finish everything ard 2+ lidat.. went to canteen n hav lunch first b4 i go back hm.. after tis 2 days of working.. i find myself slowly turning back to how i am b4 i go ns.. everyday jus wake up go work.. den work finish jiu go hm bathe rest n slp.. sometimes go out.. n im kinda happy abt tis.. although most of the time i alone.. but u noe.. although i dun like being alone but still its happier lidat.. no worries no nth..
n my dad.. pls lahx.. im already old enuf to tink n decide wat to do for myself.. u dun nd to teach mi wat to do or wat.. n pls stop ur nonsense can.. say ting say 1 time n tats it.. dun nd keep everyday repeat.. im already hearing tis from u since may le.. its been how many freaking mths liaox le n u r still repeat the same old stupid shit ting.. im old enuf to c hu is good to mi n hu is bad to mi.. n abt going where to work its not up to u to decide.. i shld be the one hu deicde it myself.. ur problem is ur problem.. dun bring ur problem into my life or my work n spoil tings ard.. so dun teach mi wat to do again.. i dun wan wat happen tis afternoon to happen again.. i noe wat im doing n i can decide for myself.. so yea..
feel so damn tired after ytd n today de work le.. so gus for now im gonna go lie on bed n get some rest le.. tml i will oso be working.. gonna work as hard as i can n earn n save it..
n gus now the kids ard shld be enjoying mooncakes at hm bahx.. n yea.. mooncakes.. how do they taste like i oso dunno.. i gus will be tinking cfm anot.. nv play tis tings b4 nv eat mooncake b4.. believe anot its all up to u all bahx.. tinking of every year de tis day.. i would be oways tinking.. when will i ever get to eat one.. even if its jus a small bite bahx.. but u noe.. its jus tinking.. nth of it will come true..
jus like how i hav tink of all my relationships.. tinking tat i jus nd to put in my best efforts n everything will be fine everything will be okie.. but its has oways prove mi wrong.. i cant blame anyone for tis.. maybe its jus mi dunno how to love someone properly bahx.. or maybe its mi not noe-ing how to express myself good enuf.. im not sure abt it either.. but yea.. i can blame no one at all.. maybe not even myself.. cos tis is meant to be my life bahx i tink..
tml i will be working n nd to wake up early.. n i noe i shld be slping by now.. but i jus cant get to slp.. tried lying on bed closing my eyes.. but u noe.. my mind is still wide awake still.. tinking of tings.. alot of thoughs is running thru my mind now.. tinking of everything.. all the way from my sec sch life till now.. although its a fun n enjoying journey all tis while.. n i rly learn alot during tis period of time.. i learn how to c ppl.. i learn to control my anger.. rly alot.. i cant spell all out here.. but im rly glad abt it..
tinking of all my past relationships.. tings now n den is almost the same bahx.. its oways veri good in the start.. but as time passes.. tings jus go haywired.. to the extend tat its already hard to mend it le.. no matter how hard we try oso no use.. bcos wats done is already done liaox le.. nth can change it anymore.. i cant rewind back time to avoid those tings.. n in tis chapter of life.. i learn to live life as it is.. no point changing anything.. live to be urself.. not live to wat others wan u to be.. onli u can hav control over urself n not others..
anyway b4 i end tis post.. i wanna say.. im not aiming at hu or saying hu is at fault n hu is not.. its jus how our life is.. admit it n face it.. jus be urself.. be wat u r.. be how u r like.. changing into someone ur love one wans is good.. but tink properly b4 u do it.. how long can u both last.. n will u be able to take it or live wif it if everything has ended.. tats all le bahx.. gonna continue my stoning process n continue my tinking liaox le.. gones..
jus read her blog n found out tis.. bi said she was feeling veri down after seeing tat sms.. izzit the sms tat i send u abt? or is it something else? y izzit tat i oways dunno wat n how u r feeling? i rly wish to noe.. n u r rly making mi rly worried now.. even its cos of my sms.. u shld noe tat wo shi chui ying xin luan de mahx.. i say say le jiu over liaox le.. haix..
u said u wanna be left alone now.. but how would i be able to do so.. i jus cant bring myself to leave u alone n dun care abt u.. n how long will u be away? going to where? at least let mi noe tis so tat i wont be tat worried mahx.. hao bu hao mahx? im seriously veri worried now n i hope u can cal mi back asap when u c tis or at least reply my sms telling mi hao mahx.. pls reply wo asap.. n abt tml de ting.. will we still be miting mahx?
hope u can sort out ur thoughts fast bahx.. u cant jus lidat leave mi alone here n u go off lidat dui mahx.. so faster reply mi k.. if not i wont be able to rest well de.. n tml i will be working.. u wont wan mi to be worried n still tinking of u when im working rite.. so bi pls.. pls faster reply mi..
im happy tat u said u r willing to change for mi.. n u rly did for the past few days.. but wat happen again.. tis few days u r back to the same liaox le.. say u abit jiu not happy n kup my cal.. not like wat im saying u is wrong or wat mahx.. u say u tu zi tong.. am i wrong to ask u to go eat medicine?? scare u will be hungry.. am i wrong to ask u dun be lazy to go buy food.. rite.. today i eat maggi for the whole day.. cos i got no key to go out at all.. n at hm got nth for mi to eat liaox le.. den wat do u expect.. mi to jump down from the window n buy food?? i admit..i ask u not to use my words to say mi back.. but its truth wat.. u oways use wat i say to say mi back.. sometime i nv do the tings tat i wan u to do oso got reason de wat..
i let u hav ur freedom like wat u wan.. u can noe new frens.. can sms wif them.. can exchange num wif other guy.. u can play game.. i got say anything now anot.. i nv.. but after i dun care n let u be.. u tis few days keep play till so late den wanna cal.. tis is y i dun like playing games.. cos everytime u play game oso will play till lidat.. u can even forget everything n nv c time.. u urself said u wanna hav talks in the past.. but if lidat how to.. tis few days say u abit jiu not happy n kup my cal.. was jus saying tat n r good n u hav change.. n u said u dun wanna disappoint mi anymore.. den wat is tis.. isnt tis disappointing..
u tink tis is veri fun mehx.. i like to everyday lidat mehx.. here im trying to care for u.. loving u no matter wat happens..n tis is the way u treat mi?? im wondering if im ur bf or am i ur chu qi tong sia.. u noe im starting work next week le.. den again i jiu wont hav much time to spend wif u.. n now u r still lidat.. den wat.. after i start work u r going to use the same excuse tat i din accompany u enuf thus causing u to feel lonely feel bored feel leftout n go back to the same ways again izzit.. i hav oway trust wat u said n everything.. believe in everything tat u tell mi u will do.. but end up im oways getting disappointments..
watever lahx.. from now on.. im not gonna say again le.. whether u wanna talk or sms everyday anot.. anyway u said u will oso end up nv de.. so im use to it le.. whether u still wan my care for u anot.. its up to u.. i wont be everyday bugging u asking if we will be talking anot anymore.. i dun wanna be seem so desperate.. as for the sms.. it will oso be the same.. if u wanna talk or sms.. den u cal mi or sms mi.. if not den nvm.. its time u take the intiative already.. cos i say so much oso no use.. u wont listen to mi anymore.. not like last time u will listen to be.. as for now.. im gonna cal u one last time.. pick up anot its up to u.. tats all..
continue watching show till abt 5+.. den maple for awhile.. up a lvl again today.. heex.. den kinda bored liaox le.. so jiu stop n continue wif my rush for berlin.. nice game lahx.. hahas.. den jiu all the way played till abt 9+ lidat den i left n went back hm..
reach hm ard 10 lidat.. den dunno wat to do liaox le.. cos lappy cant play game oso.. sianx.. sms bi n ask her wat time she will be calling n ask her to early abit.. but she onli say she will try onli.. dunno wat to say.. nvm.. but anyway.. i hope u dun play game play game n forget abt everything again.. from now to the end of the mth onli left wif tis week nia.. den i jiu go work le.. if u still wanna spend most of ur everyday time playing game de hua den suit u bahx.. wat i got to say oso say liaox le.. i aint going to repeat my words again.. u tink abt it urself..
so yea.. had a good nite slp till tis afternoon 11+ lidat den wake up.. after woke up was feeling so hungry.. cos the nite b4 i din eat mahx.. so jiu faster wash up n went down to buy food le lohx.. continue watch my zhong ji yi jia went i got back.. n yea.. i finally finish watching liaox le.. hahas.. finishing watching 33 episodes in 2 days.. hahas.. watch like siao lidat.. den now got to wait for them to upload daily le.. but nvm.. meanwhile i can watch other shows oso mahx.. still got lots of show waiting for mi to show.. hehe..
went to my aunty hse ard 3+ lidat.. where im currently still at now.. kinda dun feel like going back hm today oso.. dunno y so tats y i stay.. played maple for awhile but forget to pot myself den die den jiu dun feel like playing liaox le.. stop n went for dinner.. den after tat continue wif rush for berlin.. lols.. i finally pass the stage n i hav fail to pass the other time le.. heex.. till abt awhile ago i jus stop cos my kor wanna play game oso.. hahas..
so nth to do.. den i jiu jus come n update a bit bit of my blog lohx.. heex.. cos got nth to do oso le mahx.. i i gus im going to slp soon oso le bahx.. kinda tired liaox le.. but i still dun feel like slping yet lehx.. >< rwarr.. let mi slp man.. n oh ya.. bi de com de internet connection got some problem.. dunno wat happen.. waiting for her to tell mi again tml den i go n c how bahx.. so i muz slp.. if not im gonna be damn tired tml lohx.. slp slp slp..
counting sheeps in progress.. hahas.. cya all..
started eating lunch at ard 1 lidat.. there was fried chicken wings.. ruo gu tang.. n fried rice.. but its jus mi n myself there eating alone nia.. no one is ard.. jus alone eating so many food.. feeling so lonely so shang xin.. but wat to do.. cant be she dun wanna come den i say no u die die oso muz come n eat rite.. so i jiu slowly sit there eating by myself.. jus keep eat n eat n eat.. n i got tis feeling of not cooking anymore.. kinda dun feel like cooking ever again le.. haix.. dunno wat to say..
canot finish all the food by myself.. so the leftovers i jiu jus pack up n throw them away.. anyway oso no one eating liaox le.. so yea.. save le oso no use.. i wont be eating le.. i wont wanna eat all by myself anymore le.. haix.. y izzit tat other ppl can hav their mummy n daddy there to care for them n i dun hav.. y izzit tat others can hav their own siblings staying tgt wif them n i cant.. y y y.. i jiu shi dun understand.. got jia ren like dun hav oso.. no much diff at all.. jus oways mi in my small little corner.. haix..
continue to watch my show after lunch.. ytd nite watch till episode 15 le.. n today continue n watch till episode 29 liaox le.. jus a few more episode n i will hav to wait for them to be uploaded day by day le.. gus by den i jiu will start to watch other show oso le bahx.. cos i will jus be at hm.. being bored.. n its the onli ting i can do..
am feeling damn hungry now.. but aint got anything left for mi to eat liaox le.. din had my dinner too.. dunno y jus dun feel like eating jus now.. n like i say liaox le.. i dun wanna be there eating alone.. so yea..i finally did wat i said liaox le.. but i dun feel happy oso.. kinda abit dun understand myself again liaox le..
had a little talk wif bi jus now.. den she jiu go slp liaox le.. n i continue back wif my show.. jus stop onli.. dun feel like watching liaox le.. n im kinda tired oso le.. watch for the whole day liaox le.. tink tml den i continue bahx.. oh ya.. zhong ji yi jia rly is damn funny lahx.. make mi laugh there like a siao lang lidat.. hahas.. but some part of it oso quite touching lahx.. hahas.. so gus tats all for today again.. be back again tml?? dunno.. c how bahx..
woke up early in the morning.. den got to bring them to c doc for dunno wat fucking checkup.. wasted my transport money for all tis fuck shit.. n den wat.. got hm n got nth to eat.. gotta use my own money to buy food for myself.. okie.. tis nvm.. wait for him to come back.. but come hm onli jiu give mi a cb face like i owe him lidat.. wtf is wif tis world..
watch show for the whole day.. din do anything much to disturb anyone.. cos i dun wanna disturb anyone oso.. ending mi being alone watching show all alone by myself.. im doing tis cos of wat.. im trying to give u more freedom to do ur own ting.. but end up wat did i get.. i get nth from it oso wat.. all i wan is u to feel relax n be happy.. its okie tat im alone doing nth facing the 4 walls.. when u r at hm.. at else sometimes ur bro will be hm.. or when ur mama n papa come back le.. u still can talk to them.. but i hav got nth.. although there is someone at hm.. but no one is talking to mi.. i feel so lonely u noe.. its like im invisiable to them.. so u noe how i feel mahx.. i gus u wont noe oso..
tried to hav fone cals.. cos by talking to u.. u can make mi feel better.. feel tat at least there is still someone there to care for mi to listen to mi.. but i dunno y u jus cant seem to talk much wif mi oso.. i seem irritating n veri fan rite.. abt the ting jus now.. ya.. i admit i did say ur timing siao siao nowadays.. cos last time when we mit or wat when u say wat time jiu shi wat time one.. but now most of the time u will be late.. den oways got tis reason tat reason.. last time oso nv hear u keep lidat say.. n all i say was jus to tell u not to be late.. u say i keep repeat.. but when i ask if u understand wat im saying anot.. its u ownself say u dun understand den i repeat de lehx.. den now my fault again izzit.. i din ask to u reach at a certain time like wat u said in ur blog lohx..
den u say wat.. u rather be hm cos ur mummy is at hm n u dun nd to worry abt ur lunch.. so wat r u trying to say here.. trying to say tat i hav ill-treated u?? or coming out wif mi u will nd to worry tat u got nth to eat?? hav i ever not let u eat ur lunch anot.. pls lohx.. im oways there reminding u to hav ur lunch.. bring u for lunch.. cook food for ur lunch so tat when u come over u can eat.. afraid tat u nv eat n will be hungry.. scare u nv eat u will hav gastric.. but y do i care so much.. cos u r my gf.. im worried for u n i care for u.. if not y would i wanna do so.. u tink if any other person i will so free cook for them to eat mehx??
u say u were oways trying to make ppl feel happy but in the end putting all the worries n blames to urself.. haven been i doing the same.. trying my best to make u happy.. giving in to u as much as i can.. but i noe i cant oways give in to u.. cos i will end up spoiling u.. jus like in the past.. i oways give in to watever u do or say.. tats y now u will lidat.. din we jus agree tat we will adapt to each other during tis time?? so wat do u mean by i shouldnt try to accomodate myself for others anymore.. i shall make myself be happy n do wad i really wan.. r u backing out from wat u say??
ytd i jus said.. u r good u hav change.. u dun kup cals anymore.. but today u did it again.. so u wan to disappoint mi over n over again izzit?? i jus praise u n now u r lidat le.. wat do u wan mi to do den?? from wat u say in ur blog its like u r saying its totally all my fault.. u dun hav any wrong.. so gus wat.. its my fault again lahx?? huh?? izzit wat u r trying to mean?? i hate quarrels wif u do u noe tat.. recently u hav been using ur feelings to control wat u do.. n we said n plan where to go tml le.. i even got my tings prepare to make u something to eat tml.. n now u r telling mi u dun feel like coming out?? wat has got into tis world.. y is everyone treating mi like as though i owe them a living.. y muz i be treated tis way.. i gus i shld not hav give up wat i said i would do last week.. is tat the way u ppl rly wan mi to go den u all will be happy izzit?? if its so den let mi noe.. i can fulfil all ur dreams n i promise u all wont ever c mi again.. den there will be no one left to hurt u n quarrel or argue wif u anymore.. is tat wat u all wan??
i noe u will sure come n read my blog for updates.. when u get to c tis.. pls give mi a cal.. n tell mi wat u plan to do tml.. if not.. i will jus be blindly waiting for u to come tml..
recieve bi de sms ard 1030 tis morning.. actually wake up liaox le.. but i continue nua on bed.. den end up fall back aslp till abt 1210 den i wake up.. haha.. tired bahx i tink.. lol.. lucky we were miting at 1.. n the place is quite near my place.. so i jiu faster bathe n change den jiu leave hm liaox le.. haha.. got there jus in time.. haha..
den veri funny lahx.. i was standing there so obvious but bi jiu shi cant c mi.. keep at there find mi sia.. haha.. cute sia.. lol.. den made our way to ms.. bought tickets for the invasion.. follow on we jiu went to swensens to hav our lunch.. n we eat slowly today.. spend almost 1hr+ sitting in there eating.. was chatting away oso..
after lunch den we went over to suntec there to buy some tibits for the movie n walk ard for awhile.. den jiu off for the show le.. its a nice show sia.. some parts of it was kinda disgusting oso.. but overall i still give it 8/10.. haha.. after show walk ard for awhile.. sit n slack for awhile.. kenneth cal n say he was at bugis.. so we jiu head over to bugis to mit him lohx.. bugis kinda change quite alot lahx.. or maybe shld i say cos i too long nv go liaox le.. haha..
went in to pet lover there to c hamster.. n suddenly got the feeling to buy them.. haha.. gus goona save some money n buy some hm bahx.. heex.. walk ard bugis for awhile den went to the new food court at lvl3 to hav dinner.. but onli mi n kenneth eat nia.. cos bi going back hm to eat.. so yea.. after dinner slowly made our way to sim lim den took 23 back to tamp.. walk bi back hm from tp de busstop.. kenneth followed mi to.. walk bi up to her doorstep today..
den jiu took bus to interchange n train hm liaox le.. but today de train ppl all look kinda funny lahx.. all like so quiet jus like the show lidat de.. hahas.. faster walk hm n bathe den now blogging lohx.. had a great day today.. hope bi oso.. heex.. today is our 10th mths.. n i believe we will hav many mths more de.. am i rite bi?? <33
now gonna finish my post n wait for bi to cal mi talk le.. heex.. so yea..gonna end here liaox le.. gones.. im deeply in love..
woke up ard 11+ tis morning.. den after tat wash up ate lunch n watch my show.. finish my zhong ji yi ban liaox le.. so yea.. gonna continue watch zhong ji yi jia.. already started liaox le.. but kinda dun understand lahx.. cos its like abit no link at all.. den blur so ask baby n lead to some arguement.. nvm.. dun wanna talk abt it liaox le.. den continue watch till abt 5.. den i jiu go bathe n prep go out le..
mit ah ger jonathan n roy at ps.. say mit at 6 de.. but when i reach there at 6.. all of them were jus on their ways down nia.. kinda pissed off lahx.. cos those hu noe mi shld noe.. i dun like waiting for ppl de.. im those shao ye type u noe.. im not use to be waiting for ppl lahx.. if wait for awhile still okie bahx.. but not too long lahx.. nvm..
den went to watch underdog wif them.. its a nice show n its kinda funny oso lahx.. haha.. although i did fall aslp in the start.. cos im kinda no mood.. i dunno y oso.. mood swing?? haha.. but i still wake up at the nice part.. den after show follow them to the arcade n they played mt.. keep say last game den keep continue playing one.. den waited till roy went off first..
waited for jeff to come at 1030.. den head over to selegie to eat tou hua.. den after tat send ah ger hm.. den follow by mi den jonathan bahx.. alight at my hse there.. den while walking to my blk i got stop by the police.. wah kao.. so suay can.. fuck them sia.. wasted 15mins of my time wif them.. idiots lahx.. dun like being screen..
reach hm check my singpass ting n waited for bi to cal mi.. den was busy doing the stupid singpass de ting.. so troublesome lahx.. nd to key in so many ting de.. after finish doing everyting.. den jiu continue talk on fone.. tml is our 10th mth liaox le.. discuss abt wat time to mit n all.. den after tat talk awhile more jiu hang up le.. cos bi say she is tired liaox.. so i jiu let her go slp lohx.. although im kinda upset lahx.. cos i rly wanna talk longer.. but nvm bahx.. i rather she go slp den later i talk to her den her replies like wanna die lidat..
so yea.. although i would rly wish to go eat swensen tml lahx.. cos rly is veri long nv eat liaox le.. but yea.. i dun hav the money to go eat such nice food.. so no choice but gotta give up on the idea.. nvm bahx.. n of cos.. happy 10th mth bi.. hope after tis our way will be smooth le k.. no more unhappy quarrels.. no more keeping of tings between each other.. n slowly be back to how we were like in the past.. i noe although im gonna start work soon le.. but still.. i dun wan after i start work den after tat tings go back the same den all the efforts will be gone n wasted liaox le.. after i start work like wat we hav said.. i will still try my best to spend time wif u.. will mit u if i finish my work early.. n every sunday oso mit up to go out.. n alternate weeks we hav dinner together.. so after all tis plannings.. i hope nth will goes wrong again liaox le..
n tis is gonna end my post here le.. got nth much to blog abt le.. so yea..
shall start from ytd bahx.. was at hm slping.. till abt 11+ bi cal n wake mi up.. wake up prep n made some small dishes for her to eat.. den after tat waited for her to come n went to mrt to fetch her to my hse.. bought some tibits n drinks back hm to eat.. den reach hm n had lunch together.. after tat slack awhile n after tat i help her rub her hands.. saw so many blue blacks here n there.. was feeling so bad lahx.. but yea.. wats done is done.. no point saying liaox le..
gave bi something to bite on as i cant let her bite mi cos my hands r all stain wif the medication le.. took some time to do tat.. den told her to come again today.. cos 1 time shi bu hui hao de.. n i wan her to faster recover.. after tat slack n watch show till ard 5+ den walk bi to mrt.. din send her back ytd.. cos wanna save abit transport.. hope bi dun mind bahx.. den walk hm n continue watching my show lohx.. till abt 12+ den bi cal mi to talk.. n we talk for quite long today wor.. been long since we had talks like ytd le..
woke up ard 10+ tis morning.. den faster wash up n prep another small dishes for bi to eat after she come over.. bathe n den settle everything den jiu left hm to mit bi at sim lim le.. cos her bro de bday coming n wanna buy someting for him.. suppose to mit at 1 de.. but cos bi woke up late n hav to go bank do someting.. so yea.. den jiu late abit le.. faster went to find the game n update her bro de psp n bought a speaker for him den jiu faster went hm le.. cos we were both hungry liaox le..
reach hm faster had our lunch.. den after tat test the speaker for bi n after tat jiu continue help her rub her hands liaox le.. its seems like got abit better le bahx.. so yea.. but halfway c bi so pain de i jiu bu she de zai rub le.. so let her lie down n get some rest as she say she she not slp well last nite.. slp all the way till 6+ den wake up bahx.. den watch afew show n jiu left liaox le.. went to hav dinner.. but onli bi eat nia.. cos i wasnt feeling hungry n scare later buy le canot finish den wasted.. but i still did eat some tings..
cabbed back to tamp.. keep disturb bi abt the crow de ting.. so funny lahx.. den reaching le jiu wear jacket n went up.. while going up her hse oso keep disturb her.. end up she cal mi crow sia.. boohoo.. smack ni arhx.. haha.. den fix her bro de speaker le den jiu slack awhile den jiu left liaox le.. n im invited to tis sunday de steamboat at her hse sia.. haha.. but im sure gonna get cooked.. lol.. cos i nd to wear jacket n its so hot while eating steamboat.. haha.. but yea.. i will still go bahx..
as for now.. im waiting for bi to cal mi.. but since i reach hm till now i still haven got any replies from her yet..>< but yea.. tink i will jus continue wait bahx.. n while waiting.. im gonna finish my zhong ji yi ban.. haha.. den tml jiu can watch new show liaox le.. woohoo.. bye..
1st.. i would wan to thks most will be xinyi.. if she haven been here for mi all tis while.. i gus i wont hav walk till today tis date.. she made such a big impact on my life.. she change mi so much.. from wat i use to be till wat i am now.. i rly thks u alot.. n i appreciate u for all tat.. u were my life my everything.. but i gus its jus mi not treasuring u enuf.. not treating u good enuf.. aint being a bf tats good enuf to be wif u.. thks for showering mi wif all ur love care n concern.. wif out u i wont noe wat will happen to mi now.. thks for oways being there for mi n giving mi all ur support.. although we had alot of unhappy times.. but we too hard lots of happy moments tgt.. im sorry to hav hurt u so much.. rly sorry.. i love u.. n i rly mean i love u.. too much for mi to which i already cant imgine losing u.. but still.. i hav got to go.. whether will i be dead after today anot.. the actually melvin will nv be the same anymore.. but pls promise mi to take good care of urself.. cos maybe i will still be back.. i dunno.. <333
2nd person i would rly hav wish to thks will be jonathan.. thks for giving mi so much help when i nd them.. rly thks alot.. n im sorry for my bad behaviours towards u.. hope u will forgive mi..
3rd is valerie.. its rly wonderful to hav a fren like u.. n ever since u hav so called become my nuer.. zai wo xin zhong wo zui teng de nuer jiu shi ni le.. but gus i wont be able to do so anymore le.. thks for being there for mi too..
n its leong kenneth david n alot more.. i cant possibly name all out.. rly thks u all.. whether its for ur care or watever.. thks for being there even as a fren.. n for hu ever tat i din not mention.. im sorry to miss u all out.. but yea.. still thks alot..
n yea.. although its not rly long.. but tis is still gonna be my last post le.. i got nth much to say anymore.. thks n take care.. zai jian to all..
b4 she cal.. read her blog n noe tat she was feeling down.. so i jiu waited for her to cal n ask her.. but jus after she cal n i ask her wat happen.. she seem like avoiding my qns.. den awhile more jiu hang up liaox le.. y.. y is tings tis way.. i rly hate myself alot.. im jus such a useless fool.. jus like some useless idiots..
in her blog she says where is her someone when she nds him the most?? is it mi or is it him.. i dunno.. she doesnt wanna tell mi.. am i still the someone tat she nds the most?? or is it him tat she nds the most now.. if its mi.. im oways here for u mahx.. i hav nv ever leave u for once.. im oways here ready for u.. ready to comfort u n care for u when u nd mi.. but or is it jus mi being zhi zhuo dao qing?? can someone ans my qns.. i gus even god cant ans my qns bahx.. i rly wanna hold on to tis relationship.. i dun wanna give up..
woke up ard 12+.. but still din got any sms from baby.. so i jiu continue to slp.. till ard 4+ den still got no sms from her.. so i jiu sms her.. n she was waiting for mi to cal her.. den talk awhile n she agreed to come out.. mit her at tamp.. reach ard 635.. but she still haven reach yet.. so i jiu went to cs first..
brought my hp to nokia care for servicing.. cos there is some problem wif the fone liaox le.. den while waiting bi reach.. n there first ting i c her is to look at her hand to c how it is le.. saw so many blue blacks here n there.. n she was feeling pain here n there.. i feel so hurt.. but there isnt anything i can do again le.. cos wats done is done le.. hope she will forgive mi for tat..
talk to her for awhile.. den after tat wanna go eat sakae de.. but cant find the place.. so we jiu end up go eat kfc.. both of us oso had 2 piece chicken.. den after meal went to top up my card den walk ard in tm.. pei bi go c some hp as she said she wanna change fone.. she seem to like k580i.. but she said she could onli dream abt it onli.. cos her mummy wont let her change de..
den after tat walk awhile more jiu walk her to interchange to take bus hm liaox le.. din send her till her hse.. cos i wanna save abit for transport.. hope bi wont mind.. den after tat i jiu train hm liaox le.. gotta save abit for tis few days bahx.. cos i onli start work in oct.. den end of oct den i will get my pay.. so yea.. we will jus hav to bear pass tis 1 n 1/2 mths n everything jiu will be over liaox le.. n after tat.. i oso jiu muz start to save liaox le.. cant anyhow spend liaox le..
so yea.. although today we din do much or it aint nth much.. but i hope bi will still be happy.. n happy 300th days to baby too.. hope we can hav long long ways to go on..
happy belated birthday to jennifer..
happy 20th birthday to leong..
happy 17th birthday to val..
im rly sorry for causing so much unhappiness on ur birthday.. rly sorry everyone..
n to bi.. i dunno if u will come read my blog after u wake up anot.. but i hope u will.. i will be going to slp after i post up tis post.. but i will oso still be waiting for ur reply.. no matter u coming out anot today.. pls jus give mi a reply.. but i rly do hope tat u can come out n we can celebrate our 300th days tgt today.. i will be waiting..
went out ytd evening.. den was walking to my auntie shop first cos its still early.. den while walking baby called n i din hear my fone ring at all.. so i jiu nv pick up.. den when i saw the miss cal n cal back.. she jiu kup my cals for 2 times.. so i jiu din cal le n waited for her to cal mi back.. thus having an quarrel over the fone..
reach my auntie shop den talk to her awhile abt my work de ting.. den was feeling so pek chek after talking to her abt tat.. i oso dunno wat i shld do now liaox le.. haix.. im so messed up.. so confused.. took train to tamp to mit baby to collect birthday cake for val gal.. den after tat made some final tings on the present n off we went to ecp.. everything was so nice n well till after most of the ppl came..
baby n val went back hm to take chicken wings as val forgot to bring them out.. was kinda dulan wif the rest le oso lahx.. all onli wanna eat but nobody seems to care to cook their own food.. ending up mi being like a servant there cooking for them to eat.. nvm.. den when baby came back.. she jus went ard talking n playing.. its like she nv even hiew mi at all till even the rest oso come ask mi wat happen y she nv come talk to u or wat n jus going ard talking n playing wif ppl ard..
bi.. i noe maybe u may tink there is not a nd for telling mi u come back le.. or maybe u jus cant be bother.. but as ur bf.. im rly concern abt u.. i noe u cal mi n told mi u r reaching soon le.. but all i hope is u can jus come to mi n say bi im back le.. tats all.. but when i ask u.. u jus walks off lidat.. maybe to u it may seem okie bahx.. but to mi its like u r showing mi attitude u noe.. haix.. after tat i tried talking to u nicely but u still din wanna reply mi.. onli when after i started to be a little more fierce den u jiu not happy n wanna go off le..
u noe mi de bi.. i seriously dun like it when here im talking to ppl n there they r ignoring mi.. n plus.. i oso dun like it when im talking to them den they jiu lidat wanna walk off.. tats y i will pull u back.. i din mean to do it de.. haix.. from the start all i wan was a nice talk to u.. i din wan tings to turn out tis way de.. i dun wanna hurt u.. hurting u make mi feel so heartache.. although i dun show it out.. but u shld noe im in pain from the inside.. not the outside..
how i rly wish we could jus talk like last time when i ask u tings u will ans mi back n not like now when i ask u tings u will jus keep quiet n ignore mi.. how i rly hope tings will be like in the past.. how i rly hope.. but tings jus aint like the past anymore.. i muz fa pi qi le den u will wanna talk.. n after awhile den ni jiu bu gao xin liaox le.. y muz ting be in tis way..
i noe its my fault my bad to grab u in tat manner.. i noe i hurt u alot by doing so.. but i jus wan u to hav a sit n talk to mi properly den jiu nth will happen le.. i noe wat i say now oso no use le.. cos wats done is done.. but there is nth else i can do other den saying sorry for now.. i wanted to help ni c ur hand.. but u dun wan to let mi.. gus u muz be rly mad at mi.. today is our 300th days.. i rly wans to bring u out for a meal.. or if u dun wan at least come out to hav a walk to relax ourself from all tis tings tat r happening now.. but i gus from the sms u told mi jus now.. i tink the chances tat u r coming out today r rly slim le.. u say u r not angry wif mi.. but i noe in ur heart u muz be veri angry wif mi for doing tis n hurting u so much..
im rly sorry to hav done tat to u ytd nite.. being a guy.. i shld not hav done tat.. moreover the strength tat i use.. i noe it rly hurts u alot.. im sorry.. i feel rly so bad to noe ur hands r swollen.. but there is nth i can do now.. u wont let mi touch u oso.. i rly wanna c hows ur hand liaox le.. im seriously sorry.. n i rly hate myself alot for doing tis to u.. i hate myself for all those quarrels we had tis few days.. i hate myself so much.. tat i feels like hitting myself liaox le.. but i din.. i controlled myself.. i noe u wont wan mi to hurt myself.. but i jus feel so suck..
like wat u said b4.. i tink i rly aint a good bf.. i nv spend enuf time wif u.. i din treat u good enuf.. i din give u tings tat u wan.. i cant bring u for good foods tat u like to eat.. im oways hurting u.. i suck to core.. thus causing u to change urself to wat u r now.. choosing to find urself another partner to chat wif sms wif n care for u.. sometimes i rly wonder if i do still mean a ting to u anot.. am i still the one hu u love anot.. do u still care for mi mahx.. i dunno..
but nvm bahx.. dun wan talk abt it liaox le.. but i thks u for giving us both another chance to start all over again.. n i rly wish we can rly start all over again.. jus like how we were in the beginning.. so loving so caring for each other..n i promise u nth like last nite will ever happen again.. if not i will kill myself.. but i jus no matter wat i do now.. i noe its impossible to erase yangxin away from ur heart oso liaox le bahx.. im sure he has oso stand a part in ur heart liaox le.. so wat shld i do.. how shld i do.. im confused.. im jus a useless asshole.. im jus not suppose to in tis world at all.. i will onli cause ppl sadness n unhappiness..
hav been blasting my roof off wif my songs.. haha.. trance n techno n rnb songs.. lols.. so shiok sia.. veri long nv lidat blast liaox le sia.. woots.. gus now im gonna slack awhile more den after tat jiu go bathe n prep le den cai go tamp mit bi bahx.. den after tat going to collect someting le den we go down to the bbq lohx.. haha.. muz save some food for mi to eat wor..
n today is val gal de bday.. zhang da le hor.. dun so playful liaox le.. haha.. n hope u will enjoy urself today bahx.. although its not a veri big event lahx.. heex.. n lastly.. happy bday again gal..
as said like ytd nite.. was feeling down.. went to slp ard 2+ i tink.. den tis morning woke up ard 11+ lidat.. was still kinda feeling down when i woke up tis morning.. so i din wanna talk much.. all the way till i mit her le im still lidat.. den after miting her i feel kinda even worse.. i oways tot after miting her.. maybe i will be able to feel better.. but im not anymore.. cos she doesnt rly seem to care oso le.. no qns ask on y im lidat oso.. nth..
den went to buy tickets for 1408.. after tat went to find food to eat.. cos we all haven eat our lunch yet.. i wanna try to talk de.. but she was like busy sms-ing.. walk n sms n walk n sms.. so i jiu din talk much.. jus kept quiet.. den after lunch went to walk ard to buy some ting.. den after tat jiu went up to watch movie le.. okie lahx.. the show was still okie.. not as bad as wat my kor hav said.. n tings start to change after the show.. tats wat i hate the most..
ask her if can go my hse check someting anot.. den she jiu at there joke joke.. im seriously asking.. although i might sound joking.. but im serious.. u were rite.. in the cinema u did say dun wan.. but when i ask again cant u jus it again.. i wont be angry at all.. im not like wat u tink so xiao qi.. cos of tis i will be angry or wat.. but she doesnt seem to understand n tis leads to someting else..
i dun wanna say wat happen.. but its isnt nice at all.. n i almost blow to my top.. but i keep controlling myself.. after some time i cool down n talk tings slowly to her.. saying all the ting she has said to mi.. all the tings she said she would do but she din.. everything was finally out today.. but as usual she is jus there i dunno i rly dunno.. haix.. im wondering after all i hav said did she rly listen n tske it in her heart mahx..
after some time tings seem okie n we made our way to selegie for dinner.. eat chicken rice.. den after tat slowly walk to take 23 back to tamp.. alight at interchange den i slowly walk her back hm.. send her up to her hse n there i go.. off back to hm again.. was feeling kinda emo again after we part.. i dunno y.. so dun bother ask mi..
sms along the way hm.. den reach hm msn her.. talk to her abt it for awhile.. but she seems quite irritated by it.. nvm its okie..
bi.. i noe u will be reading tis.. jus to let u noe.. tat will be my last time saying all tis tings to u anymore.. whether u listen n take it into consideration anot its up to u.. tis relationship now is all totally on u le..whether u r willing to change anot jiu can show mi how much u rly love mi le.. i dun hav to say much if u r rly willing to change jus for the sake of mi.. all im wondering now is.. y muz it change.. y muz u change.. y cant tings remain as it is for tis past 4mths.. wats wrong wif tis relationship.. hav i not put in enuf effort.. hav i not treat u good enuf.. was i bad to u all tis while.. wat cause u to change so dramatically.. i serious dunno but i rly wish to noe.. but all u can tell mi is u dunno.. maybe u rly dunno bahx.. u said u will try but u dunno if u can do it mahx.. means u cant be sure u can change back rite.. i dunno.. all i ask for now is ur understanding onli.. i will be veri happy if u r able to be back wat u r like in the past.. but even if u cant fully change back.. i do hope u hav rly tried ur veri best n show it to mi jiu ke yi le.. if i can change from wat im in the past to wat im now jus for u y cant u change back to wat u r jus for mi.. i dunno n i dun wanna ask anymore.. n i hope wat u told mi tis time isnt jus for the sake of saying onli.. show mi by action.. tats all i got to say liaox le.. change or not it all up to u to decide.. n as i said.. tis will be the last time im saying tis to u le.. so u ownself go tink abt wat i hav said tis whole day le bahx..
im rly loving the song lei by mi lu bing le.. it kinda saying how wat im feeling now bahx.. i gus so..
shen ye li wu fa xi guan mei you ni
bu yuan yi zai zuo xia qu
zhe ju li tong de wo bu neng hu xi
nan wang ji ni de shi qu
duo shao yan lei duo wu shuo wei wo pi shang yan jing wo bu neng ru shui
zhi xi wang ni gei wo yi xie an wei
zhe xie yan lei wo wu shuo wei
zhen xin de dui dai zui zhen gui
wo hui tou xiang qi ai qing de tian mei
yong yuan bu hou hui
shen ye li wu fa xi guan mei you ni
bu yuan yi zai zuo xia qu
zhe ju li tong de wo bu neng hu xi
nan wang ji ni de shi qu
duo shao yan lei duo wu shuo wei
wo pi shang yan jing wo bu neng ru shui
zhi xi wang ni gei wo yi xie an wei
zhe xie yan lei wo wu shuo wei
zhen xin de dui dai zui zhen gui
wo hui tou xiang qi ai qing de tian mei
yong yuan bu hou hui
qian li wo jing ru shui mong chui shui
chong wen guo qu wo men liang mong zhong xiang yi wei
xian shi mong huan yuan chen chui
shen ye li wu fa xi guan mei you ni
bu yuan yi zai zuo xia qu
zhe ju li tong de wo bu neng hu xi
nan wang ji ni de shi qu
duo shao yan lei duo wu shuo wei
wo pi shang yan jing wo bu neng ru shui
zhi xi wang ni gei wo yi xie an wei
zhe xie yan lei wo wu shuo wei
zhen xin de dui dai zui zhen gui
wo hui tou xiang qi ai qing de tian mei
yong yuan bu hou hui
hope it aint wrong.. cos im not good in chinese.. n follow on is the chinese lyrics..
深夜里无法习惯没有你
不愿意再走下去
这距离痛得我不能呼吸
难忘记你的失去
多少眼泪都无所谓
我闭上眼睛不能入睡
只希望你给我一些安慰
这些眼泪我无所谓
真心的对待最珍贵
我回头想起爱情的甜美
永远不后悔
深夜里无法习惯没有你
不愿意再走下去
这距离痛得我不能呼吸
难忘记你的失去
多少眼泪都无所谓
我闭上眼睛不能入睡
只希望你给我一些安慰
这些眼泪我无所谓
真心的对待最珍贵
我回头想起爱情的甜美
永远不后悔
牵领我进入睡梦追随
重温过去我们俩梦中相依偎
虽是梦幻愿沉醉
深夜里无法习惯没有你
不愿意再走下去
这距离痛得我不能呼吸
难忘记你的失去
多少眼泪都无所谓
我闭上眼睛不能入睡
只希望你给我一些安慰
这些眼泪我无所谓
真心的对待最珍贵
我回头想起爱情的甜美
永远不后悔
hope u all like it..
din do anything for the whole day.. jus slack at hm.. no one to chat.. nth to do.. no where to go oso.. tats my life.. i admit it le.. its jus like in the past.. jus mi n the com.. tis is my life.. maybe its meant to be lidat for mi bahx.. n today wasnt a good day for mi either.. found out den i kana put aeroplane by ppl.. was so dulan den.. if tis bbq wasnt for val de bday.. i would hav cancel everything le.. all those idiots.. let not talk abt them le..
jus now called val for to discuss abt tml how.. den she said tat she wanna order.. so okie lohx.. each of us come out wif 150 for the food.. den still got the drink oso.. omg.. den talk talk talk jiu talk abt something else.. shld not say it here.. i noe n understand jiu can le.. maybe wat she says is rite bahx.. further more she is a cal.. maybe she can understand better den mi bahx.. rly hope it will be like wat she say..
n tis ends my post for the day.. i dunno if tings will still goes well for mi anot.. but yea.. i will still try my best for everything.. n thks gal for ur opinion n hearing mi crap so much.. happy bday in advance.. :)
List out your top 5 birthday presents u wish for?:
#1- To hav my mummy celebrating for mi.. ><
#2- Able to be wif bibi foreva..
#3- Oways be love by bibi..
#4- Frens to be happy oways..
#5- Its will onli be made noe in a few more yrs time..
1. The person who tagged u is?:
- Xinyi my laopo..
2. Your relationship with her is?:
- My precious gf.. Haha..
3. Your 5 impressions of her?:
- Cute.. Kawaii nehx.. xD
- Veri tao qi.. Haha..
- Game freak.. ;x
- Like to look strong..
- Liked by alot others..
4. The most memorable thing she has done for you?:
- Cried the hell out of her when i got into an accident last yr.. Sorry abt tat.. Will take good care of myself le.. Wont let tat happen again..
5. The most memorable words he has said to you?:
- Hmmm.. There is alot of them.. But its for mi to noe jiu hao le..
6. If she becomes your lover, you will?:
- She has already become my lover.. & i will treasure & cherish all the moments we had tgt..
7. If she's your lover, what she has to improve on?:
- Hmmm.. Concentrate more on studies.. Play lesser game to pei wo more often.. Treat mi more like a prince to u.. Dun everytime bully mi.. & dun ever take mi for granted.. heex.. But i noe u hav played lesser games le.. So yea.. :)
8. If she becomes your enemy, you will?:
- I will try my best to save ting so tat we wont become enemy.. But if rly still cant.. Den i will curse tat asiasoft dao pi.. Blogger dao.. Msn oso dao.. Friendster oso dao.. So tat she cant plays her game & surf net anymore.. ;x Im so mean.. Jus kidding..
9. If she becomes your enemy, the reason is?:
- Dunno.. Maybe she cant play her game & surf net anymore? haha.. ;x
10. The most desired thing you would like to do for her now is?:
- Keep her accompany n spend more time wif her while i still can.. Cheer her up when she is sad or unhappy.. Oways be ready by her side whenever she nds mi..
11. Your overall impression of her?:
- Quite difficult to understand at times.. but overall she is still okie..
12. How do you think people around you will feel about you?:
- Feel tat im a piakia lohx.. alot of ppl tinks of mi tis way.. >< & some tinks tat im those happy goes lucky type.. For the rest i jiu dunno le.. Shld go ask ard next time..
13. The character you love about yourself is?:
- Likes to settle tings myself.. Dun rly like to tell others my problem..
14. On the contrary, what character you hate about yourself?:
- I dunno how to express my feelings for the one i loved..
15. The most ideal person I would like to be?:
- The Melvin which bibi likes & loves the most..
16. For the people who cared & liked you say something to them?:
- Thks for everything.. I rly appreciate it..
17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that u wish to know how they feel about u.. Hey, please do k? Its quite fun though its long.. Thanks (:
*1: Qing Feng
*2: Aik Yew
*3. Xinyi
*4. Valeire
*5. Irene
*6. Leong
*7. Huihui
*8. Zip
*9. Ryan
*10. Netti
Who's #2 having relationship with?:
- No one.. Cos he is single.. Haha..
Is #9 a female/male?:
- Male..
If #1 & #10 be together, will it be a good thing?:
- Lol.. They dun even noe each other.. How to be tgt.. Haha..
#2 studying about?:
- SIM..
When was the last time you chatted with #3?:
- A few mins ago.. Heex.. <33
What kind of music does #8 like?:
- Mt2 Songs.. Haha..
Does #6 has any siblings?:
- Yea.
Will u woo # 3?:
- I still nd to woo u mehx , my precious laopo.. Haha..
How about #7?:
- She arhx.. Jus like a piggy.. Oways slp so much but keep complain she is tired & wanna slp
somemore.. Haha.. ;x
Is #4 single?:
- Yup.. Tink so.. Haha..
Surname of #5?:
- Ang kong kong.. Lols.. Better not let her c tis.. Haha..
What's the hobby of #5?:
- Use to go clubbing.. But now got baby le.. So u better stay at hm to look after ur baby.. Dun like last time keep wif us anyhow luan luan pao again..
#3 studying at?:
- TP.. BZE.. Heex..
Have you tried developing feelings for #8?:
-Siao.. #8 is a guy hao mahx.. Im straight.. Dun go for tis type de.. Haha..
Where does #9 live?:
- Lols.. I noe.. In hougang.. Haha..
What colour does #4 like?:
- Pink.. Cos she took my pink lighter.. ;x Haha..
Are #1 and #3 best friends?:
- Lols.. They are fren.. But they seem to oways disturb each other.. Haha..
Does #7 like #2?:
- Nope.. They dun even noe each other.. How to like.. Haha..
How do you know #2?:
- My camp-mate.. He is kinda funny.. Lols..
Does #5 have a pet?:
- Lols.. Dun hav in the past.. But not sure for now.. its been long since i last seen her.. & its even longer since i last went up her hse.. haha..
wah.. seh sia.. so many qns de.. finally do finish liaox le.. phew.. now gonna rest awhile le.. haha..
was all the ytd at my auntie hse for the whole.. n i play game all the way sia.. maple n rush for berlin.. its all nice games.. haha.. den waited till my bro come back den i awhile more i jiu left liaox le.. reach hm ard 1030 lidat bahx if im not wrong.. heex.. den reach hm le jiu cal baby n talk awhile.. she seems tired so jiu din talk much den went to slp quite early..
back to com den was chatting to ay n qf.. haha.. chat for quite long.. cos we oso veri long nv chat n c each other le.. rly miss u guy n kranji alot sia.. haha.. den after tat ard 1+ jiu go slp liaox le.. tis morning bibi cal mi to wake mi up.. but piggy mi nua on bed till abt 8 den wake up go bathe n prep.. haha.. den after tat ard 9 jiu left hm liaox le..
was on my way back to camp for the last time to collect my ic.. cos u noe lahx.. ORD LOHX!!! haha.. its been so long since i waited for liaox le sia.. now finally tis day reach liaox le.. haha.. so happy sia.. den settle everything n get my ic n cos den jiu go off liaox le.. din wanna stay any longer.. lol.. went to tamp to mit bibi for lunch.. den after tat walk walk ard for awhile n she jiu went back hm liaox le.. today jus pei her wait for bus nia.. haha.. cos ezlink wan no money liaox le.. so next time k bi.. next time i send u till ur doorstep again.. heex..
den train hm.. was tinking lahx.. when i give them my ic.. its was okie de.. but now take back its crack de.. boohoo.. dunno wat the hell they do to my ic oso sia.. roarr!!!!! nd to waste money go do new one again le.. but okie lahx.. at least i still get back my ic mahx.. haha.. so yea.. reach hm den msn bibi.. n chatted for quite some time.. was listening to irc hosting oso.. nice nice.. veri long nv listen liaox le.. heex..
den was chatting n watching tv all the way from i reach hm till now lohx.. n bibi wasnt feeling well oso.. she jus went to slp oso.. since she is unwell din wanna talk to long wif her.. jus awhile nia den jiu hang up le.. cos i wan her to go rest early.. sayang bibi.. hugs.. as for now.. after i finish blogging den gus i will still continue chat awhile den go slp bahx.. n gus tml will be a rotting day at hm le.. suppose to mit bibi go out.. but since she isnt feeling well den jiu suan le lohx.. cancel it let her rest at hm.. heex.. c im good lohx.. haha..
n there is some upcoming events coming up soon.. shld update on it when the day comes.. tink tats all le bahx.. will be back again..
all from the first day.. suppose to be our beginning of back to happiness day.. but gus its aint so bahx.. tot everything will slowly change le.. but its still abt the same.. out of all our qns.. wat i hope u will do most is to change the habit of saying ting is one way n doing it the other way u noe.. cos most of the time the problem is u say tings but u aint doing it.. n tats wat i hate most..
den 2nd ting will be talking.. i noe the way u talk to mi r different now.. yes.. i agree.. there is different.. n i can c form ytd nite cal.. i noe u feel like to kup the cal le like how u would do last time but u still din.. tats one ting im veri happy abt.. but the main ting is.. u still like got nth to talk to mi abt nth to ask mi abt.. in the past u will oso find topics to talk abt..but now.. u oways tell mi u dunno ni bu zhi dao.. imagine u were mi how would u free if i everytime oso lidat tell u?
we haven try going out yet.. we still dunno if there will still be problems abt tat mahx.. but i seriously hope there aint any.. n another ting is.. i hope u will put in abit more effort to try to change okie? jus tat little bit more.. i will do my best to try help u change oso de.. but u muz be willing to let mi help den can oso mahx..
n the most most impt ting of all is.. next time pls dun abit abit jiu say den dun be tgt.. there is oways other ways out de.. no nd to lidat den can save the day.. n by saying tis i dunno if u will feel any xin tong anot.. but im feeling it when i listen to it.. if u r going to give it up so easily den all the hard work we hav done tgt will be wasted.. n im not gonna give it up so easily.. i noe sometimes i may keep make noise say tis say tat.. but tats oso cos i dun wanna give up i still wanna try.. try to bear wif mi for tis period of time bahx..
as i said from my previous post.. din do anything else except for play game.. n jus now play maple play till abit sian le so i jiu change ti another game lohx.. play rush for berlin.. haha.. quite a nice game oso lahx.. but play till tuo tong le.. dun wanna play anymore.. gus i will try to slp after tis bahx..
some unhappy tings happen jus now.. haix.. i seriously dunno wat to say anymore liaox le sia.. u said u hav tried ur best.. but seriously i dun feel it at all.. okie.. maybe in some ways u did put in effort le.. i noe i can c.. but do u tink by talking nicely is good enuf to change everything?? no it isnt going to.. other den talking nicely to each other we oso muz hav ting to talk n ask to each other abt mahx.. how can u everytime say i dunno wat to talk n keep ask mi to start a topic.. do u tink tis is fair for mi mahx??
i hav being trying to find topics to talk to u abt..i n hav tried so many time over tis whole period le.. trying to find topics to talk to u abt when u tell mi u dunno wat u wan to talk abt.. u told mi u will play awhile game wif mi den after tat watch show den after play wif mi again.. but did u keep to wat u say?? u jus came in awhile in the morning n poofs.. there u go n nv come back again.. if i nv msn u will u msn mi urself?? u jus went to play game leaving mi waiting for u to reply.. din we say hao le.. if u go play game jus msn mi let mi noe.. so if i wanna find u i noe how to.. but u still din.. u jus went ahead playing wif out saying anything.. does the game rly hav such mei li?? or izzit u cant wait to go hav fun n enjoy ur game wif ur online frens??
i seriously dunno.. the tings tat u said n told mi were all different from wat u do.. do u rly wanna break the trust i hav in u mahx?? muz ting rly go tis way like wat u say.. tings wont change if no one cares to try their best to change it.. u said u tried ur best le.. but i rly dun feel it at all.. even if u r.. r u going to give it up so easily?? i too hav try to change alot abt myself jus bcos of u.. if i can do it y cant u?? its all on whether u r willing to do n sacrifice anot nia..
haix.. u ever told mi b4 u wan to hav lots n lots of mths tgt.. but how r we going to continue wif tings tis way?? when can we ever get back to how we r like in the past.. tings r so different so complicated now.. how i wish it had oways been like the past.. how i wish all tis din not happen.. how i wish there is no anyone else in our lifes.. do u wan mi to be shang xin n xi wang again?? i dunno.. its up to u to decide bahx.. im veri disappointed le..
currently at my auntie hse using my bro de com.. cos my hse de lappy veri lag den canot use top play maple.. so jiu come his hse play lohx.. anyway i oso got nth much to do at hm oso mahx.. haha.. woke up so early in the morning today to come over to his hse.. haha.. den play le whole day.. feeling so tired le sia..
now waiting for dinner.. den after dinner will play another game for awhile den gus after tat im gonna continue back wif maple.. cos i got x2.. bibi buy for mi de.. shall not waste it.. heex.. n now dunno wanna do wat so i jiu come blog blog abit lohx.. heex..
n bibi.. next time anything jiu tell mi k.. dun keep keep keep.. not good oh.. den i canot hong ni or duo ni if u nv tell mi mahx.. dui bu dui.. heex.. gus tats all for now le bahx.. got more ting to update den i update again nor.. :)
like i hav said.. din enjoy the day out today at all.. cos alot of tings happen mahx.. but den got hm n talk wif bibi abt tat.. den we jiu rly starting everything rite from the beginning again le bahx.. n jus let her hav some time to change back to her normal last time de her bahx.. but like i say liaox le.. bi cant take to long okie.. cos we hav limited time to do tis nia.. n once our relationship is back on track again.. jiu dun let it ever derail again le k..
once we go back to wat we were like in the past.. den i would expect bibi to play lesser game n pei mi more like the past liaox le.. game is still can play.. but jus dun over do it n get urself too in the game like tat time lidat jiu can le.. cos i dun like the bibi tat is oways so into the game de.. i like de bibi is last time everytime oso pei wo.. got any problem jiu will first one tell mi n not someone else.. even if u cant say oso will sms tell mi de.. okie??
n rember wat u told mi rite.. u say jus play play onli oh.. dun get too serious okie.. i not dun trust u.. is scare later too serious den later we got even more problem.. n i dun wan anymore problems le.. cos we hav got enuf problems liaox le.. n oso i dun wan to got another rival.. ;x heex.. so like wat i told u jus now.. once we say the ting tat we will do.. we jiu muz do it.. canot here say do den after tat jiu forget everything abt it le k.. u noe i dun like ppl lidat de.. someone is u.. even more canot.. unless u wanna break my heart again den i jiu got nth to say le lohx..
so yea.. hope everything from now on will get better n better n better.. till it gets to like last time lidat okie.. n one more ting.. since i already noe liaox le.. den next time if he sms u.. can bibi promise mi not to scare scare n hide from mi like scare let mi c lidat okie.. u scare scare hide hide i will feel even more pek chek de.. cos if someone got nth wrong den he/she shld be guang ming zhen da de do the ting.. n i jiu wont feel so pei wei seah le.. hao mahx??
den if one day we rly can walk the red carpet tgt bibi jiu rly canot hav all tis ting le oh.. jiu muz stop all tis le k.. but of cos is still can be frens nahx.. heex.. bleahs.. awaiting for tat special day to come.. i noe its still a long way to go.. but i strongly believe n trust tat we will hav tat day tgt if we can even overcome all tis obstacles de.. rite bibi?? hugs.. heart u lots.. dun ever break my heart again k.. <3
woke up tis morning n prep n waited for bi to come over.. finally she came over at ard 12+.. den slack awhile jiu went out liaox le.. was okie at the start de.. den walk to my auntie shop there to eat her fav porridge.. while eating was talking abt where to go work at after i ord.. was feeling so fed up after tat.. so my expression wasnt veri nice.. while on the way to town bi saw my hand got some injury.. n she insist tat something is wrong when i already told her i oso dunno how come will lidat.. thus leading to some unhappiness..
reach ps den tings were better le bahx i tink.. but its onli for awhile.. but den found out tat bi din bring out the movie ticket.. was like making a waste trip there.. den bi say wanna go buy donut.. but half way you suddenly say dun wan buy le.. cos she was asking mi how far we hav to walk to suntec.. but i rly dunno the distance how do i ans u?? is not i wanna shoot u or i dun wanna tell u.. its cos i rly dunno so i cant tell u.. n u urself got walk b4 le.. u shld arga arga noe mahx.. n tis started the second part of our unhappiness..
so i jiu ask her again where she wanna go again.. den she keep say dunno.. haix.. i rly cant tink of any places le tats y i will ask u.. not i purposely wanna ask u de.. den the way she ans mi wat like so unhappy.. jiu jitao say go hm.. i noe my tone wasnt veri good to u oso.. im sorry abt tat.. but i was unhappy is cos the tone u use to reply mi.. n another ting was tat.. its jus like we jus come out for lunch nia den jiu go hm liaox le.. haix.. tat was y..
in the past u would still give mi ideas on where to go.. but not anymore.. i dunno y oso.. thus making mi feel so fed up so useless.. cos i cant seem to make u feel happy at all.. n oso cant seem to bring u out like in the past anymore.. its totally diff from wat we say we would do ytd.. wasnt feeling veri good while on our way to tamp oso.. but i was jus keeping it all to myself n keep disturb her jus to try forgeting abt it.. but i cant.. after we reach tamp n she went off.. the feeling jus came back..
its seems like i cant avoid it anyway.. so i jiu slowly took a train back.. went all the way to boon lay n den back hm.. my mind was kept so busy tinking of all those ting.. den slowly walk hm.. took longer den usual for mi to walk all the way to reach hm.. den come hm jiu msn bi tell her le.. cos i dun wanna keep anythings from her.. i dunno wat the outcome will be like anyway.. but i jus wanna let her noe.. how i wish nth has ever change n we r still like wat we r in the past.. but tings aint lidat anymore.. its alot more complicated den ever b4.. gus its gonna be hard to change the fact tat tings r rly different now le..
as for now.. i dunno wat im gonna do next liaox le.. still feeling so emo so useless.. gus im gonna stone for the nite le bahx.. gones..
started off wif a veri bad day.. woke up ard 9+ 10 lidat.. den waited for bi to cal mi or sms mi.. but waited till abt 11 le den bi say she jus wake up jus wanna go bathe onli.. den tink maybe is the way i ask her qns bahx.. den she says im so bu nai fan.. keep telling her i din i nv im not.. but she still keeps insist tat im.. n den everything jiu started liaox le..
had a bad bad quarrel tis morning.. till abt afternoon lidat.. n we settle everything today once n for all.. saying out all our unhappiness wif each other.. n i gus i hav say out all my unhappiness abt her bahx.. din wanna say out de.. n somemore some of it was already the past le.. but i jiu shi dunno y once i start saying den i jiu continue non stop liaox le.. feel kinda bad after saying her all those tings.. den everything ended wif bi giving a solution to start afresh.. back from the start..
actually suppose to mit de.. btu cos of all tat den jiu nv mit liaox le.. hope after today everything jiu will rly be back to normal le bahx.. n wat u told mi today.. i rly hope u rly can do wat u told mi.. dun say say le den jiu forget n go do some other tings.. can u mahx? bu yao zai rang wo shi wang le hao mahx..
den after tat continue my day wif watching show n chatting in irc lohx.. not much ppl is inside irc oso lahx.. so most of the time is watching my show lohx.. n bi went to rest ard 5+ lidat.. so continue watch my show again.. got nth much to do for the whole day today oso lahx.. now waiting for dinner.. den gus after dinner going to watch tv or wat bahx.. den c tonite bi wanna talk mahx.. if wan den talk.. if you dun wan again den jiu stone again le lohx.. cos got nth to do..
maybe is the song bahx.. wo bu xiang wang ji ni.. its a nice song.. but if u read the lyrics well n understand them.. its quite a sad song bahx.. hav been listening to it since i got it in my itune.. repeat repeat n repeat.. listen till my tears oso flow down again le.. i dunno y oso.. jus automatic de.. how i wish i could noe y im lidat tis few days.. but i jus simply dunno y.. i cant tink anymore..
n glad to noe tat u 2 r okie le.. n tink u seems better oso le bahx.. tis afternoon after the ting u seem so shang xin so zai hu.. gus he too stands some part in u too bahx.. nvm bahx.. dun wish to talk anything abt tis anymore le..
dunno wat im gonna do again tonite.. tink as usual for the past few days bahx.. slowly cry myself to slp.. yea.. tats all le.. dunno wat to say liaox le..
was feeling abit erm.. i dunno how to discribe tat feeling lahx.. its those kinda mixed up feelings.. but den nvm bahx.. nv tink abt it den after awhile jiu okie le.. as usual im bored.. cos got nth for mi to do at hm oso.. den end up i go make small changes on my blog n frenster.. followed by uploading songs into imeem.. den jiu got nth much to do le..
afternoon something happen n bi seems so sad.. although i not sure wat exactly it is.. but nvm bahx.. if she is willing to tell mi den let her tell mi herself.. i dun wanna ask anything more den tat.. den continue watch my show n all.. zhong ji yi ban.. watch 4 episodes today.. still got long way to go lahx.. but nvm.. i got alot of time to do tat.. haha.. waited till my dad came hm n hav dinner.. told him to buy back for mi n i pay him back.. din wanna owe them anything.. i noe it sound wierd bahx.. but i jiu shi dun wanna owe them anything.. so yea..
oh ya.. dunno y.. din hav much wei kou to eat tis few days.. i oso dunno y im lidat.. nvm bahx.. hope my wei kou comes back soon.. after dinner continue watch tv.. jus got back to com nia.. den went to read bi de blog.. she say she wasnt feel good today.. got alot of thoughs running thru her mind.. but i ask her she onli jus say bu zhi dao.. haix.. i jus cant seem to noe wat she is tinking n feeling.. wo zhen mei yong.. nvm bahx.. when u feel like telling mi den tell mi bahx.. if not den jiu nvm.. its okie wif mi de..
not gonna continue go watch show le.. gonna take a break for today.. gus for now im gonna go chat n dl some new songs bahx.. bye..
[x]You are in love
[ ]You have your own room
[x]You own a cell phone
[x]You have an ipod/ mp3 player
[x]Your parents are still married
[x]You have more than 1 best friend
[ ]There is a swimming pool in yourbackyard
T 0 T A L: 6
[x]You dress how you want to
[ ]You hang out with friends more than once a week
[x]There is a computer/ laptop in your room
[ ]You have never been beaten up
[ ]You NEVER cry more than twice a month
[x]You are allowed to listen to the music you want to
[ ]Your room is big enough for you
T 0 T A L: 3
T 0 T A L S 0 F A R: 9
[x]You have over 50 friends on friendster
[ ]You have over 500 friends on friendster
[ ]You have over 1000 friends on friendster
[x]You have pictures on friendster
[x]Your parents let you have a friendster
[ ]You get allowance
[x]You collect something normal
[ ]You look forward to going to school
[x]You don't wish you were someone else
[x]You play a sport
[x]You do something after school
T 0 T A L: 7
T 0 T A L S o F A R: 16
[ ]You own a car
[ ]You usually don't fight with your dad
[x]You are happy with your appearance
[ ]You have never gotten a failing grade in your life
[x]You have friends
T 0 T A L: 2
T 0 T A L S 0 F A R: 18
[x]You know what is going on in the world
[x]You care about many people
[x]You know more than one language
[x]You have a screen name
[x]You own a pet
[x]You know the words to more than 5 songs
[ ]You dont have any enemies
[x]You are a generally nice person
T 0 T A L: 7
T 0 T A L 0 V E R A L L: 25
Now count your numbers and multiply by 3
Then title this "MY LIFE IS 75% HAPPY"
went to downtown mit des n val.. den walk ard.. eat n drink abit oso.. den they both so funny lahx.. actually i shld not be laughing de.. cos im not in the mood.. but the 2 manage to make mi laugh.. den from den now my mood gets better abit..
went off ard 930 lidat.. den cab down tgt wif des.. cos he going taka first den after go zouk.. so share cab wif him.. den saw bi sitting at the stairs there.. after awhile jiu take train send her back hm.. alight at bedok.. den went to the hawker center find food for her to ta bao hm n eat as she haven eat dinner yet.. bought chicken chop for herself n cutlet for her bro.. n some otah too.. den waited for 69 wif her..
went on to take my bus hm after she left.. took abt 1hr plus den i reach hm.. but i din slp on the bus.. dunno y i cant slp.. but yea.. now back at hm le.. got nth to do anymore oso.. gus im gonna stone again tonite le..
was tinking while trying to slp.. but yea.. i cant rly tink of anything at all.. my mind seems kinda blank to tink of anything at all.. sms n tell her abt everything of wat i tink im feeling bahx.. n the same ting happen.. im always getting my face wet again.. sounded kinda like gal lahx.. but tats jus mi.. if u ppl noe mi well enuf u all will noe tat even though i can put up a veri strong n happy face.. but deep down inside im actually weak n sad.. i dunno how shld i say to explain lahx.. nvm..
gus its gonna be another day of stoning at hm today again le bahx.. gonna make full use of tis time to tink abt all those ting again.. hope i will nv regret wif the decision i come out wif.. tink tats all le bahx.. gone*
na xuan zhe na qian wang ni de fang xiang bu zai mi wang..
wang le wo men ai de guo wang..
wang le wo gei ni de shang xue hui jian qiang..
chong qian de wo bu tong ni xi shen duo da..
wei wo shi qu peng you bu jiang..
hai fang qi le shuo you meng xiang..
jue dui mei zhen yang..
bu hui jiang xin bi xin qu xiang..
ran ni man man man man si qu le xi wang..
neng bu neng guo zai gei wo ji hui hao hao de ai ni..
wo hui zhi xi de ling ting..
ni dui wo shuo de yi yan yi yu..
wo hui xue hui qu kong zhi pi qi bu ran ni shang xin..
dui ni hao hao de qu zhen xi..
qing ni xiang xing wo de xin hai shi ai ni..
wo xiang zai chong lai yi chi..
hui dao guo qu me bu ni de shang..
mei na zhong shi..
zhe me zhuo cai ting zhi..
huo hui jing shang ni ru chi..
bu zai fang shi..
wei he zhong dao shi qu cai tong de nan guo..
dang ni zai wo shen bian de shi huo..
zhong shi wei wo mo mo shou hou..
duo shi wei wo de cuo..
cuo guo zhe na de de yong you..
jiu ran na ai wo de xin man man liu zhuo..
neng bu neng guo zai gei wo ji hui hao hao de ai ni..
wo hui zhi xi de ling ting..
ni dui wo shuo de yi yan yi yu..
wo hui xue hui qu kong zhi pi qi bu ran ni shang xin..
dui ni hao hao de qu zhen xi..
qing ni xiang xing wo de xin hai shi ai ni..
Wo De Cuo.. Dui Bu Qi..
yea.. i agree wif u.. im jus too over concern abt u liaox le.. i aint being good enuf for u.. i din keep to my words abt bringing u to hav good foods.. i din keep to my words abt buying u gifts tat i said i would.. i din spend enuf time wif u cos im penniless.. i din let u lead a good life like u wan.. i din fulfil ur dreams to yang ni.. i cant do anything to help u.. i cant cheer u up even when u r unhappy.. i aint a good bf.. im sorry for everything..
gus tats all le bahx.. jus let mi be bahx.. i dunno how am i gonna face u again.. sorry for bringing u so much unhappiness..
for tis whole week.. nth goes well for mi.. even starting from the first nite.. was talking to her.. she keep say i was being fierce which i wasnt even so.. but her tone was like as if she dun wanna talk lidat.. n i ask her if it is.. n there i was rite again.. she dun feel like talking.. ask her y but she din wanna say.. okie nvm.. den jiu forget abt it..
den ytd nite.. noe tat she is abit fan.. cal her n talk.. den at first was okie one.. but after awhile she jiu suddenly dunno wat happen.. jus kup my cal al of a sudden.. saying its cos of my tone n all.. everything seems to be my fault again.. its like wtf sia.. i rly din do anything wrong at all.. my tone was low cos i was rly having flu..
cal her back.. den explain to her everything.. den tot was okie le.. den wanna ask her wats wrong n explain to her how im feeling after tis fews days de ting tat happen.. but she jus suddenly shouted back at.. saying y am i keep repeating.. u wanna noe y.. now i tell u y.. its cos i care for u.. tats y i will say so much.. if u aint anyone to mi.. y the fuck would i care to waste my time talking to u all tis..
u dun wan mi to keep tings from u.. rember tat time u oso keep ask mi to tell u wats wrong.. but did i shout back at u.. i din.. so do u tink u r rite to shout at mi even if u r not feeling good.. no matter how bad my mood is.. when it comes to u i will still talking properly wif u.. y cant u jus do the same lehx.. i dun nd u to treat mi like how i hav treat u.. but at least do hav a limit mahx..
book out today.. although im tired n rly wish to go hm n put my tings first.. but u dun wanna go.. so i jiu jus follow u c wat u wanna do.. i oso nv omplain or say anything.. yes.. i did say tat its heavy.. but im jus telling u.. while talking to u jus now.. u jus seem like u dun care.. here im talking to u n there u r looking at other tings.. sometimes i do rly tink if u r rly listening to wat im saying.. den nowadays u abit abit jiu canot liaox le.. no like last time anymore..
reach hm jus now.. msn u.. but u nv reply.. msn u the second time den u reply.. u say tat u r watching show tats y nv reply.. but cant u jus open a window to jus tell mi wait first.. is it so difficult.. i hav rly enuf of all tis liaox.. there is no way i can keep it in n keep all to myself anymore le.. i rly cant take it anymore.. everything tats happening.. even if i were to tell u.. u will say n say n say till u win.. no matter watever i say i seem to be the one at fault..
i hav been giving in to u all tis while.. sometimes even if im not in the wrong.. i oso di shen xia qi n say sorry to u as if its like my fault.. sometimes while talking on fone i can jus do any simple ting tat u dun like den u jus kup my cal.. sometimes even if u scold mi i oso keep quiet.. eveything im oso taking it in for myself.. tink abt it urself bahx.. is it true anot.. hav i ever kup ur cal mahx.. how many time tat u scold mi i keep quiet.. wat ever ting u do i oso give in to u.. but wat do i get in the end.. more n more of tis unreasonable tings happening..
try telling u not to be so unreasoable b4.. but u jus keep say u din u din.. den wat can i do.. there is nth i can do anymore.. no matter wat i say u oso got ting to say mi back de.. hav u ever try tinking hwo would i feel anot.. in the past u hav nv treated mi tis way b4.. but now everything is so different.. so different from it is in the start anymore le..
y would i wanna say so much to u.. its bcos i care alot for u n im veri concern abt u.. nv would i noe tat tis to u is cal niam to u.. all i meant was jus good onli.. i din mean anything else.. i dun wanna c u unhappy too.. neither do u wanna c mi being unhappy wat.. tings tat u hav done.. i keep giving myself reason tat u r jus bored n trying to entertain urself tats y u will do tis.. i hav nv tink otherwise.. no matter how bad u treat mi.. i dun mind n i can still be as good to u as its like in the past.. i hav nv ask for anything more other den tis le..
do u noe how sad is mi to noe abt u having other darlings.. i noe u r jus playing ard.. but it still hurts mi alot to c tat.. but i told myself.. i shld trust u for being my gf.. if i dun trust u den there is no point carry on le.. but u hav nv made mi lose any trust in u.. cos i strongly trust n believe tat u wont do mi any wrong.. tats y i say wo xiang tong le.. i will let u continue wif it.. but its still hurts mi alot by doing tis decision.. cos im afraid i might lose u.. n i seriously dun wanna lose u..
n now.. im feeling so hurt again.. im trying to care for u but u say im keep niam u.. maybe to u is jus irritating i gus.. now tat tis has happening i rly dunno wat i shld do anymore.. im feeling so confused now.. i rly dunno wat i can do next.. nvm bahx.. i cant type in my feelings anymore.. cos im feeling to lost now.. n up till now.. my tears has been dripping ever since i start wif tis post.. i dunno how will u feel when u read tis bahx.. now everything is jus up to u to decide liaox le.. i wont wanna make u feel irritated by mi anymore.. n im sorry..
maybe u wont even understand wat im saying here.. cos i myself dunno wat im typing in too.. tats all i gus.. i will be gone from now on le..
starting from tml will be my last week liaox le.. den wed n thurs n fri will be on leave.. den after tat next monday back at camp to settle clearance den tues jiu get ic n off i go.. haha.. cant wait for tat day to come sia.. hav been waiting for so long liaox le sia.. haha.. n now finally tat day has come liaox le sia.. weets..
din play any maple last nite.. cos my kor wans to use his com.. so i jiu went to slp till tis morning wake up den play lohx.. been playing since morning last.. n lvl up liaox le.. haha.. but gus im abit lazy to train liaox le.. cos im doing quest.. rly abit lazy to train.. wait till i got x2 den i train bahx.. if not den hua i jiu do quest lohx..
haven been talking to bibi since mornine.. msn her but she din reply.. gus she is rly busy wif her reports bahx.. tats y nv reply mi.. dun wanna sms her too.. dun wanna disturb her working.. after she finish she will sms mi oso de mahx.. so its still okie lahx.. haha..
now waiting for time to pass den i jiu go back hm take ting den jiu go back camp liaox le.. tues nite den will be back hm.. haha.. tis few day keep slp late wake up late.. scare i not use to wake up early for the next 2 days sia.. but nvm.. i noe i can di it de.. gonna finish liaox le.. wont try to be funny.. bye.. be back for updates after i come back from camp..
wake up tis morning at ard 9+.. was feeling better after a nite slp bahx.. wasnt feeling as moody as the nite b4 le..wake up first ting jiu shi go read bi de blog.. cos i wanna get updated abt wat is happening.. den get to noe tat she din slp for the whole nite n she cried.. was feeling abit angry at the first place lahx.. cos say hao le if got anything or cant slp muz let mi noe but she jus keep quiet.. but after tat i tink tink den jiu suan le bahx..
den went to bathe n bi jiu sms mi liaox le.. saying she jus wake up so ask mi not to leave hm first.. den i jiu waited for her to finish doing her ting n ready le den i leave hm lohx.. mit her at paya lebar.. den reach there jiu c her liaox le.. den jiu ask her she okie mahx den bi jiu bao zu wo bu fang le.. so onli can console her lohx.. cos she she din wanna say anything oso n i dun wanna force her too..
went to sing post there to help her daddy collect ting.. den nd to go ica there.. den the stupid idiots there almost make mi pissed off sia.. they already noe tat there is cigg in there le den wat for as wanna open anot.. open le obviously muz pay le mahx.. fucking hell singapore no money mehx.. lidat abit abit oso wanna earn.. damn piss by them.. den lan lan no choice but to pay lohx.. tis makes mi hate china ppl even more..
head over to katong de sheng siong to buy some tibits den jiu go to my hse there to eat porridge le.. bibi miss there de porridge alot sia.. haha.. n she like it alot bahx i gus.. haha.. after eating den we jiu slowly walk back to my hse there liaox le.. reach hm den slack awhile n use com.. after tat ard 4 lidat help bibi to wash hair.. cos her hair was abit too dry liaox le.. n i oso shun bian bathe oso.. haha.. den waited for hair to dry liaox le den we both jiu go orh orh.. but onli for awhile nia lohx.. cos they come back le n is making so much noise tat we cant slp anymore..
was kinda dulan liaox le lahx.. den they went on cooking.. after tat went out to hav dinner.. den half way thru the dinner quarrel wif them all.. cos so damn fucking pissed off lohx.. so wat if he is a little kid.. cant oways let him hav his ways de mahx.. lidat how can he ever learn sia.. den all jiu attitude mi.. cb.. like wtf lohx.. i wasted so mch money on them.. n now tis is the kind of attitude i get from them.. fuck them all lahx..
after finishing everything mi n bi jiu faster pack up everything n leave hm le.. its not the kind of place where i can live in anymore le.. buay tahan sia.. when to take train back to tamp.. den in train i was so lonely sia.. cos bibi was sitting down n i was standing alone beside the door.. den lidat all the way till tamp lohx..
decided to walk bibi hm as there is still some time.. cos its been real long since we walk hm liaox le.. so yea.. we jiu slowly made our way hm.. n on the way was so fun so sweet.. n of cos its damn funny lahx.. keep laugh non stop de.. cos i keep say n do stupid ting.. but of all tis tat i do my motive was jus to make bibi happy n let her smile.. finally reach her hse liaox le.. was kinda bu she de ran ta zuo.. but i noe its impossible lahx.. cos no matter wat she has to be hm de..
after sending her to her doorstep i jiu make my way to interchange n take train to my auntie hse le.. din feel like going back hm tonite.. dun wanna face them.. c their idiot face i jiu feel like giving them 1 tight slap liaox le.. fiak them all.. while on train was sms-ing wif bibi.. told her everything tat i hav feel n tink of tis few days.. n i serious hope bi enjoys herself out wif mi today bahx.. i noe although we din go juch place or do much tings.. but most impt of all is we had fun going out wif each other.. n i wanna hav much more tis type of time wif bi..
so yea.. now reach hm auntie hse liaox le.. n tink maybe after tis i will be playing maple bahx.. but dunno if bibi will accompany mi play mahx.. cos she din slp well last nite n gus she is tired oso liaox le.. so yea.. c how bahx.. if not de hua den i jiu ownself play lohx.. anyway she can pei mi play tml oso de mahx.. heex..