jus finish reading her blog.. n gus wat.. my tears were flowing down my cheeks once again.. i jus cant seem to control it.. maybe wat happen tis morning was both our fault.. but i tink the one most in fault is mi bahx.. mi n my hot temper.. mi n my fuck up attitude.. wat she say abt mi after the quarrel wat rite bahx.. my hot temper n fucking attitude.. if not for tis none of tat would hav happen le bahx.. im seriously such a idiot..
she say tat she doesnt noe wat the outcome will be.. whether will we still be tgt or will be break.. but after reading all those tat she say.. i gus i will jus hav to be prep for the worse le bahx.. din wan tings to turn out tis way de.. i dun wan the outcome to be a bad one either.. but i gus i wont hav the cheeks to ask her for forgivness le bahx.. after tis i dun even noe if i still can face her anot le..
but seriously i hope she can give mi one more chance for mi to change.. i nd time to change.. let time prove tings.. but afterall its all still up to her bahx.. i will still respect her decision.. but from wat i can c is.. if anyting were to change or happen.. i gus the smiling happy go lucky melvin will be gone from tis world for good le..
tink i shall not be talking abt tis anymore le bahx.. the more i say the most i she bu de.. the more i will tink of.. the more tears tat will flow down my face.. tink i will jus lie down n slowly wait for the ans to be out bahx..
continue from my post tis morning.. ytd nite ting was settle after sometime after.. baby cry in front of mi tis time.. im sorry to hav make u cry.. din mean it de.. but everything is settle le bahx.. already clear up everything wif baby le.. den jiu went to find david n jonathan at redhill mrt there.. from there decided to go to airport for dinner.. its already nearly 10 when we were abt to go..
reach there den baby they all bought a ice cream cake from swensens.. black froest chocolate cake.. i love it.. <3 after tat i was jus folowing them ard till they bring mi to Breeks.. jus open onli so i din noe its open.. ate at there.. had steak again.. while david n jonathan had chicken.. den baby eat fish.. lol.. dunno wat fish lai de.. but its all still quite nice lahx..
had a hard time cutting the cake sia.. cos its ice cream cake den veri hard.. lol.. the whole process during cutting the cake was so damn funny lahx.. canot tahan.. den 4 of us finish the cake.. n another ting is.. david keep on spotting the manager of the outlet.. haha.. sot dao david liaox lahx.. haha.. peng..
walk to t2 viewing point n slack while waiting for jeffrey to come.. den sit there n talk.. lol.. n ask david to help mi massage.. so shiok sia.. weeets.. cos whole body was aching.. nearly fall aslp while having the massage lohx.. cos too shiok liaox le mahx.. u cant blame mi for tat.. ;x den after send baby back hm.. waited all the way till she went in n close the door le b4 i leave.. cos veri late le.. scare later anyting happen i will regret forever sia..
woke up early tis morning.. den lie on bed to wait for baby de cal.. haha.. din wanna sms her although its already 11 le.. cos i noe tat she is tired.. wanna jus let her slp for awhile more lohx.. after she cal we decided to mit at ard 130 lidat.. but was raining so i told her to mit at tiong bahru.. den i was abit late.. cos when i reach my hse downstair the raining was still quite heavy.. so i jiu waited for awhile den i cai walk to the busstop..
reach there abt 150 lidat.. den cant find baby.. so cal her.. den went to atm there to find her.. tat was when everything start again.. i dunno if u noe it anot lahx.. i was actually kidding wif u but the way u ans mi was like so pek chek lidat.. so tats y i oso will rise my voice abit.. u noe i dun like ppl to lidat talk to mi de.. its oso the same for u de mahx.. u oso wont like mi to talk to u in tat type of tone rite??
i noe although after we was outside the mall im abit too harsh on u.. i jus wan u to tell mi wat u lidat.. but u jus give mi a face n the ans was more n more pek chek.. i rly din mean to scold u de.. its cos i hav nv let anyone lidat treat mi b4.. tats y its will be abit hard for mi to take it.. but im already trying my best to change everything for u le.. hope u feels tat..
n plus now so many tings is happen rite now.. im even more pek chek nowadays.. so i hope u will understand mi n dun mind mi.. its rly stress for mi during tis period.. i got totally nth left wif mi.. no even a single cent wif mi now.. den i still nd to tink of how i wanna eat.. find money for the hse.. buy tis buy tat.. somemore now still got the baby at hm.. its even more worse liaox.. i dunno lahx.. maybe i shld jus give up on everyting n jus let them die on their own.. if not i will sure go crazy sooner or later..
n wat u reply in the smses jus.. i hope u r saying tat cos u r angry jus now n doesnt rly mean it.. if rly even u oso ask mi to go away.. den i tink its rly oso time for mi to give up on everyting n myself oso le bahx.. wif out u there nth left for mi to continue live for le.. cos u r my life my everyting.. wif out u im totally nth.. so if even u were to leave mi now i gus there is rly no other reason for mi to continue tis type of life le..
tats all im gonna say here.. n im not gonna say anymore.. i dunno if u will come n read tis anot.. but if u rly do come n read i hope u will understand mi n give mi a chance.. i dun wish to end everyting jus lidat.. n im not giving it up tis fast yet.. i oso dun wanna give up.. if not wat we had done all tis while will be wasted.. for the last ting i wanna say is im sincerly sorry.. tats the least i can do now le.. gones.. hu ever tat wanna find mi can cal or sms mi.. but whether i choose to pick up or to reply its up to mi.. gone for good..
tues morning wake up den go out buy tings.. den after came hm den i jiu go lie down on bed again.. n i fall aslp.. haha.. so jiu went to mit baby late le.. lol.. reach baby hse ard 2 lidat bahx.. but all her windows wereclose n cal her alot of times she oso nv pick up.. i admit i was starting to get pek chek of it liaox le.. den when i was abt to leave le she came to open the door.. haix.. nvm bahx.. dun wanna talk abt it liaox le lahx.. so jiu fix her com n slack awhile den jiu left back for camp liaox le..
went to do my tings in camp.. after tat jiu wait for last parade den jiu cal baby n talk on fone.. din do much ytd in camp oso.. so tink i jiu not going to talk abt it bahx.. but as for ytd nite de ting.. tonite den i blog again.. cos baby reaching liaox n i gotta leave hm to mit her le.. so gus i will jus stop here for the time being le.. ciaox..
ytd nite wake up den jiu cal baby n talk for awhile.. after tat jiu go slp liaox le.. but baby din slp well last nite.. n she din sms mi tell mi.. :( next time if baby cant slp muz let mi noe k.. so tat i can pei ni.. i cant pei u much one weekdays so jiu jus let mi make up during tis times k..
woke up ard 10+ tis morning.. den jiu msn baby chat for awhile.. after tat jiu went to jonathan hse for lunch den jiu go c doc after tat le.. after c doc jiu went hm to rest for awhile.. den recontract my singnet le.. heex.. sign up for 10mbps.. but still save.. haha.. better den now 1500 pay even more ex.. heex..
was finding my sata2 cable.. but still cant find.. i rember got bring hm.. but dunno put at where le.. sianx.. den ard 5+ lidat jiu went out le.. cos going to sim lim there to find out some price for parts.. cos gotta do job.. now back at hm for quite some time le.. sms n msn baby all oso nv reply de.. tink she slp le bahx.. hope she has a nice n good slp tonite..
tml will be miting baby at ard lunch time lidat.. den after tat going her hse to fix someting on her com.. den gus after tat jiu will relax n slack ard at her hse till i book in le bahx.. haha.. k lahx.. so i tink tat all for now le.. feeling tired le.. going to slp liaox le..
bye..
now for some updates for tis whole week.. book in last sat nite.. cos was having guard duty on sun.. b4 tat was wif baby , jonathan & leong.. suppose to go for baby jiejie de wedding dinner le.. but due to baby's mummy sick.. she jiu nv go le.. so tat she can stay hm n take care of her.. but we still went out to airport for dinner.. den after tat jiu send baby back hm n jiu oso go camp le..
spend the whole sun in camp doing duty lohx.. so sianx.. how i wish if i were outside wif baby.. but i cant.. ><" do duty till monday morning.. actually got duty rest de.. but dunno y they say dun hav.. den still muz go for training.. boohoo.. fiak them arhx.. n oso kana fiak for nth on monday.. was so pissed off sia.. feel like whacking the hell out of him sia..
forgot wat i did on tues n wed le.. cant tink now.. headache n too sick to tink anymore le.. went to out field on thurs.. its a 2 day 1 nite de.. super siong sia.. can die lohx.. woke up in the early morning.. den reach there jiu start training liaox le.. after lunch do battle course.. walk for 6km plus.. got so many contact point in between sia.. den after tat still muz do attack.. complete the whole ting ard 6hrs plus.. den nv slp.. cos got nite mission.. muz dig own grave lohx.. dig till wanna die liaox.. next morning still got battle course to do again.. tis time rd walk even more.. even more siong sia.. den after tat jiu wait for return to camp le..
reach camp first ting jiu shi sms baby to let her noe tat im back.. den jiu went back to do my tings.. den chatted wif baby in the nite for awhile.. cos cant book out yet.. sat morning got live firing.. so many days in camp lohx.. im so bored n so sian liaox le..
book out ytd.. was feeling abit sick liaox le.. but din rly care much.. den mit baby n jonathan for dinner at bedok.. actually after tat got job to do de.. but veri late n tired le.. so jiu cancel it.. next time den do lohx.. went hm n talk wif baby.. den jiu go slp liaox le..
wake up tis morning for a job.. but was feeling even more worse.. but i still went.. mit baby at my hse here for lunch.. waited for quite a long time for her.. den after tat jiu slowly walk to my hse le.. came hm n eat medicine den baby pei mi awhile.. she jus left not veri long ago onli.. thks for ur care baby.. <3 now oso still not feeling veri good yet.. tink i will go rest again bahx..
cya again folks.. bye..
actually was suppose to mit baby den go leong hse de.. cos he wan mi help him fix com for him.. den soon bian borrow his formal to wear.. ;x but baby not going wif mi le.. tink its too far for her oso le bahx.. but how i rly wish if she was going wif mi sia.. cos we haven been spending much time wif each other after i got posted to tis unit..
but nvm bahx.. im not gonna blame her for tis.. cos its rly far for her lahx.. from one end to the other end.. if im her i oso lazy to go.. so now gonna go out le.. den after miting her for lunch at bukit merah.. den jiu pei her go hm change n den jiu go dinner le.. will be back hm awhile to take my stuffs den jiu go back camp le..
tink next week will be another tough week bahx.. cos got alot of training coming up le.. but its okie.. for baby i will bear wif it.. cos im onli left wif another 3 mths n tat it le.. okie.. gonna stop here le.. rly gotta rush for today.. ciaox..
book in last tues at 6.. den got night off at 7+.. stupid lohx.. if got nights off jiu rather ask mi go back later wat.. waste my time onli.. den book in back ard 10.. reach camp pack ting jiu go slp liaox le.. talk wif baby on fone.. while talking discover tat my wound is bleeding again.. so went to wash it den jiu go slp le..
woke up early the next day.. den morning sms baby awhile den jiu set off for out field le.. train for the whole day n was feeling damn tired after tat.. so slp quite early..was wandering wat time is baby slping.. continue training in the 2nd day.. den at 12noon we got a 24hrs standby.. din slp all the way till now..
reach hm ard 4 tis afternoon.. den clean arms.. tot will be able to enjoy tis weekend.. but they last min say got guard duty tis sunday.. n tml got wedding dinner ti go wif baby.. gus i wont be able to enjoy myself n muz go back camp early le bahx.. sianx..
was chatting on fone wif baby jus now.. was all the way okie in the start.. den i dunno y suddenly baby become like so cold towards mi.. i noe i talking till quite late tat nite.. but is cos the other day i wasnt doing anyting mahx.. tats y i will talk till so late.. n cos of tis baby keep saying mi.. n seems like in doubt of mi lidat.. haix.. does it rly mean tat once someone did someting he will forever do it again n wont ever change.. haix.. i dunno lahx.. nvm.. shld go to slp now.. to prove it to her bahx.. not in the mood now.. bye..
din do much ytd too.. slp till afternoon ard 12 den wake up bahx i tink.. haha.. im so pig man.. ;x den was chatting wif baby n jonathan in msn.. after tat help my daddy find job.. n tats be a taxi driver.. ;x haha.. but better den nth n sit at hm wait for money drop rite?? lol.. jonathan came to my hse in the evening to explain to my daddy abt the taxi ting.. den ard 7 lidat we jiu go out liaox le.. was trying to c if anyone wans to go out.. started asking from 4+ till 7 still no one reply so jiu ownself go out le lohx..
went to airport again.. dunno y recently keep going airport oso lahx.. haha.. went to eat bk de new triple whopper.. haha.. so big sia.. had a hard time eating it.. lol.. chew till my mouth oso tired.. haha.. den sit in there n talk cock lohx.. till 10 lidat jiu left to go hm le bahx.. oh.. n ya.. went to mini toons too.. bought someting.. haha.. so cute sia.. but im not gonna say wat it is.. someone will get to noe soon le.. haha.. bleahs..
on my way back hm recieve sms from baby saying tat someone scold her.. so after i reach my hse downstairs jiu faster run hm le.. its jus so stupid tings lahx.. n i dun wanna talk abt it anymore le.. n oso had a small argument wif baby cos of tis.. i noe u r mad to kana scold for nth.. but since the other party say sorry le jiu lets not talk abt it le lohx.. okie?? heex.. was okie wif baby after awhile.. n we chatted in irc till quite late cos baby say she cant fall aslp..
woke up tis morning in 7 to wake baby up.. den went back to slp.. after tat ard 8+ baby cal to wake mi up.. was feeling so tired n rly dun feel like waking up sia.. haha.. but no choice lahx.. got appointment to go so lan lan force myself to wake up.. reach the hospital n waited so long lohx.. kaox.. the stupid doc so slow de.. n end up nv give any mc oso.. ask if i can get any she say onli give light duty.. diao.. it makes no diff lahx.. light duty oso cant do anyting.. rather give mc den i can rest at hm mahx.. stupid de lohx..
reach hm ard 12+ jus now.. now slacking while i can.. cos later by 6 muz book in back to camp liaox le.. sianx.. n their stupid logic.. mc on the day muz book in so early.. dot them lahx.. anyway.. i will be back onli on friday i tink.. hopefully so.. dun wan later they last min ask mi do duty again.. cfm sian diao de lohx.. cos i wanna go back n pei my baby.. n got a wedding dinner to attend tis sat oso.. so jus pray hard bahx.. *prays* tats all le bahx.. gonna go chat n enjoy myself now le.. if not later go back camp jiu cant enjoy n online le.. haha.. ciaox..
after reaching baby de ah yi place den we jiu started to fix the com le.. but gus wat.. my kor kor gave mi everyting but jiu shi nv give mi keyboard n mouse.. kaox.. cant do anyting le.. so baby n her uncle jiu went down back to sim lim to take.. after finish set up everyting den jiu onli left to wait for baby to be back..install everyting le den teach the little boy abit jiu go off le..
wait for cab till i pek chek sia.. cos wanna rush down to hospital c doc.. but when c finish doc le din get anyting.. so i jiu went to c private doc.. got 2 day mc.. so tml den booking in.. den tues got appointment again.. hope can get mc again.. haha..went to my hse to charge my fone.. cos low batt le.. if not later ppl canot find mi.. ;x till abt 830 den leave.. wanted to eat hor fun.. but muz wait veri long.. so baby jiu jus eat hokkien mee n i eat fried kway tiao..
den jiu took train n send baby back hm.. mit jonathan at baby blk downstairs.. den cab to ecp.. lol.. we hav been going out almost everynite tis few day sia.. haha..watch football n play game for awhile jiu go back hm le..
hope baby had a nice day wif mi today oh.. heex.. n tat everyting is jus going back to normal liaox le.. so no worries le.. baby.. i love u so.. i miss u so.. hugs..n tis is my new blog song.. seems nice n i hav been hearing it for some time le.. hope u guys will like it bahx.. Luo Zhi Xiang - Zhi Lian
说我爱你 从男人的心里 是最难表达诚实的秘密
说你愿意 靠在我肩的你 是最难抗拒动人的回应
你扬起的嘴角给我爱情的动力 弯弯的眼睛 藏不住你孩子气
看着我在你眼里 眼神是如此肯定 那就是我一 直等待的美丽
我承认我爱上你的美(爱上你的美) 你的脸和你的眉 让我面对自己无法再自恋 Oh Baby
我承认我爱上你的美 你让全宇宙失眠 让我爱到像流星一样的坠 我才发现
看你泛红的脸说出模糊的话语 我的心只听见你心里的回音
看着我在你眼睛 眼神是如此肯定 那就是我一直等待的美丽
我承认我爱上你的美(爱上你的美) 你的脸和你的眉 让我面对自己无法再自恋 Oh Baby
我承认我爱上你的美 你让全宇宙失眠 让我爱到像流星一样的坠 我才发现
睡不能睡 脑海都是你的画面 Hu~ Hu-Hu~幸福帮我剪接你的笑脸 Yi Yeah~
我承认我爱上你的美 你的美没有虚伪 让我爱你爱到忘了我是谁 Oh Baby
因为你我爱上夜的黑 像搭着无论地铁 开向你为我设的专属路线 终于看见
我承认我爱上你的
woke up tis morning at 8.. den bathe n change jiu left hm to polyclinic le.. reach there abt 845.. tot will hav to wait quite long.. but end up i finish everyting within 15 mins.. haha.. by 915 im at hm le.. lol.. sms baby in the morning but she din reply.. so i tink she is slping bahx.. n din sms disturb her le.. so i jiu continue show my show online..
watch till abt 11+ den left last 2 episode.. n baby finally come onli.. still tot she was angry wif mi so nv reply my sms.. but i was wrong.. cos baby jus wake up onli.. n told mi to mit her at 1.. so i jiu stop my show n went to prep le.. change n everyting le den jiu wait for baby leave hm i jiu oso leave hm le.. mit baby at ps.. fall aslp while waiting for her.. den she woke mi up when she reach..
went to cathay to buy movie tickets for spiderman 3 for us n her frens.. den walk back to ps for lunch.. ate yoshinoya.. heex.. baby paid.. cos i pay for the movie she pay for the meal.. after which took bus 7 to bugis.. den went to shop ard.. baby bought 2 tee.. 1 is i choose de.. isnt it nice?? heex.. n baby bought a pants for mi.. thks baby.. den went over to parco there cos baby wanna go perlini.. bought a necklace there too.. veri nice lohx..
took 7 back to ps again.. cos the weather was so hot till even i oso dun feel like walking back.. haha.. den jiu went straight to movie le.. show was quite nice lahx.. but jus abit too long onli.. heex.. n was having happy chats wif baby along the movie.. so sweet.. after the show we cant decide where to head for dinner.. so we jiu decided to hav dinner on our own.. den baby fren jiu left le.. dunno where they go..
mi n baby jiu walk all the way to ms.. cos wanna eat the duck rice there.. so long nv eat le sia.. haha.. after tat we went to esplanade there to tmm.. heex.. veri long nv tmm wif baby le.. it has been long since we had such sweet moments.. i rly miss those times.. but gus they are all coming back le bahx.. haha.. i jus love it.. love those sweet moments lahx.. hope from now on we will oways hav tis type of happy moments..
walk back to cityhall mrt station to take train back to tamp.. den mit leong at there to pei him eat dinner.. so ke lian.. till so late le den hav his dinner.. after tat took 69 to send baby back hm.. cos i miting zip at her hse there to go airport.. send baby up till her hse le den i jiu left liaox le.. was hugging each other so tight while waiting for lift to come.. like as though we wont get to hug each other anymore.. ;x choy.. canot anyhow say.. ;x
went to airport eat popeye again today.. lol.. eat till abit sian liaox le lahx.. haha.. den slack for awhile after tat den jiu go hm le.. reach hm le jiu sms baby.. den jiu go bathe le.. jus came out awhile n baby jiu request i to blog.. cos she wans to read b4 she goes to slp.. haha.. baby so cute.. so i hav blog liao le.. den baby read le jiu go slple okie.. cos tml gonna wake up early again.. n we din hav muvh slp last nite.. heex.. jus loves my baby..
so gus i will jus end here le bahx.. dun wan blog too long.. if not later baby say i write essay again le.. ;x so good nite folk.. shall come blog again tml bahx.. if i hav the chance.. ciaox..
ytd din blog.. cos canot login to blogger.. so i jiu jus chat in irc..told baby to go slp early ard 10+ lidat.. den was having conf cal wif zip leong n joseph.. was waiting for huihui to cal in.. but waited till quite late le she still din cal in.. so mi n leong jiu went to disturd her c if she will cal in anot.. but she still did not.. n baby was angry tat i slp late last nite.. cos she told mi to slp at 1.. n i din do it.. was accompany them talk.. but after the sms baby send mi i jiu go slp le..
clarify everyting wif baby tis afternoon.. cos morning i sms her all she nv reply n i noe she is angry wif mi.. den talk tings out liaox le den jiu okie le.. din chat much on msn today too.. dunno y but baby isnt replying much to my msg.. mit zip in the evening n went to mit leong to go airport.. slack n eat popeye while waiting for joseph to come.. n we chatted..
not noeing wat ting zip wanna go back.. so jiu ask him.. but he keep say he still tinking so we jiu let him tink as there is no train liaox le.. den waited all the way till 2+ den his fren come pick us up.. n i noe tat baby isnt happy abt tis again le.. cos tml morning i go appointment to unstitch.. read baby blog liaox le.. im sorry.. im keep disappoint u again n again tis 2 days.. i din mean it de.. i hav my reasons.. but tink no matter wat i say now oso no use le bahx.. when u not angry le den i explain to u again..i dunno if u will listen or believe mi anot.. but i do still wanna tell u..
n baby.. im sorry again.. hope u will forgive mi.. i dunno wat i can say now le.. but i hope ur msn nick doesnt mean anyting bad bahx.. i wont forgive myself if anyting happens.. im so so so sorry.. dui bu qi..
left hm ard 520 to mit baby at bedok.. everyting was alrite between us liaox le.. den went to 511 to eat stingray.. had satay too.. den after tat pei baby to interchange to buy kfc for her parents.. as they haven eat their dinner yet.. den accompany baby to wait for 69 hm.. had some nice talk while waiting for the bus.. my heart was feeling so pain to c her feel so sad.. i feel so bad to make baby cried again n again.. haix..
den took train to airport to mit zip.. went to t2 viewing mall to c plane n had some talk over our relationship.. there till ard 10 n we left to take train back hm le.. on the way back i cal baby to talk on fone.. cos she was sick n is still awake.. n oso was waiting for her fren to send her sometings.. n someting happen again.. baby was talking wif her mummy.. n i jus say someting.. gus she dun like it bahx.. so she jiu jus hang up.. was feeling so sad at the point when she hang up.. i wasnt angry at all.. rly feel like crying out sia.. but im in public so i tahan.. sms her but she din reply oso.. cal back but din pick up too.. im rly feeling so sad.. so disappointed.. its so heartbreaking.. i tot everyting was over tis afternoon le.. but it happens once again..
baby.. i noe u will come n read my blog.. i wanna let u noe.. im not angry wif u.. i jus wan u to noe tat im not shouting at u.. i was jus holding my earpiece speaker nearer onli.. n wat i say was merely jus a joke.. i din rly meant it de.. im rly sorry abt it.. hope u will understand wat is happening.. but im angry wif myself.. i jus cant seem to make u happy.. n instead im oways making u angry n sad.. i jus aint a good bf bahx.. but i promise i will try to change de.. sorry..
read baby blog n got to noe tat greg talk to her abt some tings.. n she got her reply as she isnt playing as much as she did in the past.. n din rly hav time to play nowadays.. but i would jus like to comment someting on tis.. n i dun mean anyting much.. rember when we jus started on tis relationship?? we use to spend most of our time either tgt or on fone.. but during tat time i din rly c baby spend alot of time on game oso rite?? tats y im rly not used to it nowadays.. i dunno if u will feel tat way anot.. but i do feel it tis way..
but if u still tink u aint having enuf time to spend on playing den i gus i shall even jus give up on our talking time for u to play more game bahx.. tats the best i can do le.. i cant tink of any other way.. cos i noe i cant be asking u to stop playing game jus for mi.. n like wat u said.. u hav been playing game for so long n oso u can easily get into the game.. so i gus there is no way for u to quit gaming bahx.. n im not gonna be so selfish to onli tink of myself.. so i gus i will hav to get use to it sooner or later bahx..
i jus dun understand y i jus cant seem to accept her playing games.. but sometimes i jus dun like online games.. i dunno y oso.. or maybe is i cant forget wat happen afew weeks ago bahx.. or it maybe is wat happen in the past tats haunting mi back again bahx.. im so confused.. i rly dun wish wat happen in the past to happen tis time again.. arghh.. i seems to be going crazy tinking abt tis matter..
nvm bahx.. dun tink i can continue anymore liaox le.. feeling darn emo now.. tink i shld jus stop tinking n go to slp now.. jus let nature take its course..
woke up tis morning at 7 to wake baby up for sch.. den after tat i jiu went back to slp liaox le.. slp till abt 10 lidat den baby cal mi to wake mi up.. lol.. take turns mahx.. heex.. after tat snuggle on bed for quite some time b4 i get up to bathe n go for my appointment.. waited for so long den my turn comes lohx.. but its worth it bahx.. cos i got my mc extended till the 12.. weets..
got hm den jiu sit down n start to watch my show le.. haha.. was chatting wif baby n in irc while watching the show.. lol.. im so multi-purpose sia.. haha.. waited till baby reach hm.. den wanna chat wif her de.. but she till 7+ den onli come online.. :( so no chance to chat wif her as she was going for her dinner le.. den after dinner she jiu will start playing her game liaox.. haix..
waited till 10+ le den baby still haven cal.. tot she forget abt it again le.. but she din forget at all.. was tinking abt her forgeting n the next moment was her cal liaox.. heex.. i noe my baby wont forget de rite? heex.. but she wasnt feeling good for the past few days.. was having block nose for quite some time le.. den ask her to go rest early.. was having some hard time asking her to go rest n eventually she off her com n lie down on bed to rest.. chatted till abt 11 den jiu ask her go orh orh le..
but i still not slping ytd.. cos my slping time was 12.. haha.. n i still got abt an hr more left.. so gus im gonna stop here n go chat awhile den jiu go slp oso le bahx.. gonna continue watching my show tml.. haha.. good nite peeps.. n good nite my little baby.. loves.. muackiex.. <3
quarrels from the past few days seem to draw us nearer to each other.. n from the quarrel i learn to noe n understand u better.. all thks to those quarrels we had.. if not i tink i still wont noe wat exactly does each of us wans.. im sorry for my bad behaviour for the past few days too..
so baby jiu dun worry anymore le k.. nth is going to happen to tis relationship.. n im not gonna let anyting happen to it.. im not willing to give it up.. we still hav long long ways to go de rite? n for the evil baby tat u say hu wont give in to u n will get angry easily.. its not gonna come out le.. i wont let him take over mi tat easily de.. n tats a promise.. everyone hu reads tis shall be witness for it..
although baby cant be always by my side.. i noe tat u r still wif mi mentally.. im not gonna let wat others tink of mi affect us.. its their own problem to not believe mi or watsoever.. im not gonna care abt wat they say abt mi anymore.. wats most impt to mi now is u.. n im rly glad tat u believe i hav change to a better person.. n im doing it all jus for u one person.. i gus no one else can make mi do tat le bahx.. n although i hav bad tempers.. but all tat will onli last for awhile n u noe it de.. so no worries k..
so alrite.. since a hav already blog abt other tings le im gonna end tis post here.. as tis post is specially for my baby.. so im not gonna add any other tings in.. love u my baby.. muackiex..
slack till abt 4+ jiu went hm le.. was feeling so boring n tired of seeing couples there while im all alone.. missing baby sia.. how i wish she was by my side.. den took bus back hm.. n lucky he wasnt at hm.. gus he went out too bahx.. den chat wif baby online n watch show.. till aby 7 lidat den mit kenneth to go play pool..
went to kim seng play.. was feeling hungry while playing so we jiu bought some food to eat.. went back hm ard 10+.. n he was back at hm le.. but he stop his nonsense liaox le.. n tats good.. finally my ear can rest le.. waited for baby to cal mi.. n she cal mi after awhile.. talk on fone n chat on irc till 1140 lidat jiu ask baby go orh orh le.. gus she was tired le bahx..
today my little baby was so guai.. wanted her to blog n she rly blog although she was feeling tired.. den ask her go slp she jiu go slp liaox le.. n most of all.. she stop her game at 9+ n waited for mi to be hm to talk.. tats so sweet.. i hope we will no longer hav anymore quarrel n continue to be sweet couple forever.. love u my darling.. miss u lots too.. hugs.. hope u slp well thru the nite.. muackiex.. <3
2nd ting was to noe abt wat happen between mi n baby while i was in field camp.. but gus tats over le bahx.. not going to talk abt it anymore.. after tat.. was having lots of quarrel wif baby for the past few days.. we can even quarrel over small issue.. sometimes i wander was its the end of tis relationship.. but i told myself im not gonna give up on it.. im gonna continue n fight till my last breathe..
den now my family.. nobody seems to like wat i do n wat i say.. everyting i do seems to be in the wrong.. im always in the wrong but not anyone else.. there is nth i can do tat seems to pls them at all.. im a human not a animal.. i hav my rite to live as a normal person.. n seriously i do feel like punching the hell out of him.. but no matter wat he is still my dad.. i told myself i cant be doing tis..
everyone does wrong.. but y its seems like nobody is willing to forgive those hu hav done wrong in the past.. ya.. i admit i was a convict in the past.. so wat.. i hav change.. n change alot from wat im like in the past.. but wat the point of it.. nobody seem to care at all.. nobody believes it.. not even my own family members.. so wats the point of changing when no one cares n believe tat u hav.. i hav tried to convince them of mi changing to someone good.. not tat i din try.. n seriously im tried of tiring oso le..
im left wif nth now.. no one trust mi.. no one believe mi.. no one to listen to mi.. no one to share my feelings wif.. all im left wif now is my baby.. but she too cant be always by my side.. no one can be always by my side i gus.. n tis is the onli place where i say spell out everyting tat im feeling.. but nvm bahx.. life still has to move on.. i dunno wat to say liaox.. bye..
everyting seem so fine today.. woke up.. bought breakfast.. went to her hse.. bring com to sim lim.. got back hm to fix it.. all was okie.. its onli when abt time to go hm.. everyting starts to change..
baby told mi to stay at hm tml.. but u noe mi de.. i can nv stay at hm on weekend.. cos i jus hate to stay at hm.. i say sorry if im being fierce jus now.. u shld noe mi well enuf le bahx.. den went off to take train hm.. tot baby would start on her work le.. but she din.. she was playing game again.. haix.. nvm.. i dun wanna talk abt tis anymore.. im jus gonna let ting take it path..
im seriously tired of all tis le.. wat is said n wat is done.. sometimes i do tink if there rly is anyone tat i can rly trust.. im starting to lose trust in ppl liao.. exactly like wat happen in the past.. i dun wish history to repeat itself again.. i seriously cant take tis type of aftershock anymore le.. if all tis continues i might rly go crazy one day..
reach hm.. jus wanted to ask if the clothes hav been wash.. n was fuck for nth.. i dun owe u ppl a living at all.. even if im wif out u i can still continue my life.. i can earn on my own.. n for goodness sake.. i having been working to earn a living since 13.. i dun get money from u either.. so u got no rites to scold mi for fun.. i dun give a damn on hu u r.. jus stop stepping on my tail b4 i goes crazy.. or else i will make u regret for wat u hav done.. n i mean it..
woke up at 7 to wake baby up for sch.. den i jiu ye oso wake up le.. cos gotta go back camp to endorse mc.. haha.. faster go bathe den jiu left hm le.. reach tamp ard 8+.. recieve sms from baby asking mi to bring my ipod charger.. lol.. too bad i left hm le.. but even if im still at hm oso no use bahx.. cos i already forget where i put the charger le..
reach camp den jiu go medical center endorse the mc le lohx.. finish everyting abt 11 lidat.. den went to wait for 23 to tamp.. waited for the bus for almost 30min den come sia.. tink the bus driver slping bahx.. ;x reach tamp at abt 12.. den jiu take 69 to tp there mit baby for lunch.. but when i reach le baby cai tell mi say she will be late.. was quite pissed off den.. but finally everyting was alrite le..
im oso glad we had tis quarrel tis afternoon.. cos it cleared alot of tings between us.. n there is no longer anymore misunderstanding between us liaox le.. heex.. hugs baby.. pei baby n her frens go eat lunch.. but i din eat.. cos wasnt feeling hungry at all.. plus cos of the quarrel we had earlier make mi feel even more full.. ;x den after tat went to buy sweet n my solution for my lens.. thks baby.. im sorry for my attitude in the afternoon.. dui bu qi..
accompany baby walk to tp den she go back class n i take 23 to sim lim.. went up to the shop for awhile.. den jiu went hm liaox le.. reach hm n feel veri bored.. so i jiu paint the room.. lol.. waited for baby to reach hm.. den chat wif her on fone for awhile b4 our dinner.. after tat suppose baby wan to play game de.. but canot login.. so we jiu chat lohx.. till jus onli den baby go play her game.. hope can play bahx.. n she promise to cal mi at 11.. hope she keeps to her promise today oh.. canot make mi disappointed again le.. tats wat she say de..
so gus tats all for today bahx.. gonna go chat n wait for baby to cal mi le.. good nite.. bye..
woke up ard 10 today.. did nth much but stare at the com all the way.. den when i was abt to leave hm jiu start to rain till so heavy.. daddy oso dun wanna let mi out at first de.. but told him i was getting someting for baby den onli he let mi out.. reach sim lim there ard 2+ lidat.. pass the person the card but he check n say its still working.. so jiu lan lan go off.. den when to my kor kor shop there.. they say bring back c can use anot lohx..
took 23 to tamp.. mit baby at the bus stop opp her sch.. waited for awhile den slowly walk hm from there.. reach her hse n the first ting i do jiu shi her com le.. c.. i so good.. end up rly can use sia.. den i lan lan lohx.. after tat baby say wanna play maple wif mi tgt de.. but end up she play her own audi n din play wif mi.. boo.. baby pian wo.. :( play till dinner time den jiu stop le.. hav been having dinner at baby hse quite often tis days.. lol.. feel so pai seh sia..
after dinner went back into the room n play game for awhile more.. den wanna print someting but after tat suddenly the whole com hang.. den jiu canot use again le.. its the same problem again.. haix.. tink i will hav to bring the whole com down to check tis sat le bahx.. dunno wats wrong wif it.. had a hard time to an wei baby to bear being wif out com.. den jiu head back hm le..
was waiting for baby to call mi de.. but i waited for so long den baby still haven cal i jiu sms her lohx.. as i hav gus.. she is playing audi again.. n i gus it rite again.. by the time she call will be the time she going to slp le.. haix.. sometimes i jus dun understand y she can get so into the game.. i rly feel so good for her audi frens.. it seem like she can always rember them.. but sometimes i jus rly dun like her playing audi.. cos when she plays she will seem to forget everyting.. i jus dun like it when tis happens lahx..
i feel so neglected at times.. its like as though audi is far much more impt den mi lidat.. i noe she din rly mean it.. but it rly gives off tis feeling.. n the fone cal we had rcently.. its rly much lesser den wat we had in the past liaox le.. we use to talk almost everyday for long hr.. but now its jus a few mins cal den jiu hang up le.. sometime there even isnt any cals at all.. i dun rly like wat is going on recently.. alot seems to hav change after i came back from my field camp.. i hope its jus mi being too sensative n maybe tinking too much bahx..
its another emo post again i tink.. i was jus typing out wats was in my mind.. tink im not gonna go on anymore le bahx.. so tats all for today's update.. bye..
was slping so soundly last nite.. tot everyting will hav a new start today.. but wat turn out wasnt like wat i wan it to be.. i rly nd a someone to keep mi accompany now.. im feeling real bored.. bored to the extend till tat watever ting i do i oso got no mood to do it.. haix.. tings hav change bahx.. or rather shld say i hav change bahx.. i dunno.. can i someone tell mi?? i jus nd someone to tell mi wat to do now.. i jus cant tink..
sometimes i rly feel so lonely even when im at hm.. no one will care or even ask abt watever ting i do.. haix.. i jus feel so weird tis days.. was rly hoping tis weekend to come faster cos i will hav baby to be here wif mi to accompany mi.. but tink no nd le bahx.. cos due to some reasons.. she wont be coming le.. i understands wat the problem is.. but its jus tat i rly cant stand being bored at hm alone.. plus somemore my daddy doesnt work le.. everyday oso muz c his face ard at hm.. hearing them quarrel for every simple small issue.. im afraid i might go bonkers real soon..
but lucky i hav a place like tis for mi to let everyting out.. but for now.. i dun feel like saying or doing anyting liao le.. tink i will go rest again bahx.. slp shld cure everyting.. bye..
Tired With This Type Of Life Now..
ytd wake up ard 11.. suppose to mit baby n jonathan at 12 de.. but end up all oso late.. haha.. den mit ard 1230 at tanah merah mrt.. went to airport slack.. lol.. had been long since i last go there.. but if possible i dun wan to be there jus to slack.. i wanna be there to board the plane.. ;x heex..
walk ard for awhile.. den feel hungry so we jiu go find food.. wanted to eat at BK de.. but all so ex sia.. den got not much left wif mi le.. so we jiu can to eat mac.. had mcspicy n baby had mcwings.. lol.. buy le den we go T2 de viewing mall eat.. machiam like pinic lidat sia.. haha.. after finish eating we talk for awhile den decided to go ecp..
took 36 to there.. alight near the lorry park there.. den slowly make our way to mac.. ;x rest 1 time at bedok jetty there n the other time after the chalet.. den when we walk pass the chalet baby saw some solar panels.. haha.. den so excited sia.. c her happy i oso happy.. after we reach mac there jiu started raining le.. went over to marine cresent there to take 196 to bedok.. after which change train to tamp.. had our dinner at cs food court.. den cal my sir to c if i nd to go back camp.. n end up rly dun nd go back.. haa.. so damn happy sia.. send baby hm n oso to take her graphic card from her to help her change today den jiu oso went hm le..
reach hm bathe n done everyting le jiu try to play maple.. at first can de.. den dunno which stupid go msn mi den lag the lappy jiu canot play le.. talk to baby on the fone oso.. after tat i was chatting in irc while baby was playing audi.. haha.. she n her audi.. den talk till abt 1 jiu go orh orh le..
woke up tis morning to wake baby up for sch.. den went back to slp for awhile n woke up again at 10+.. went to sim lim there wanted to change baby de graphic card.. but its a wasted trip.. cos the shop is close till today.. so gus i will hav to go down again tml bahx.. went back hm to wait for the time for operation.. while waiting i make my own hp theme for mi n baby.. so nice i like it so much sia.. heex..
left hm ard 1330 lidat.. took bus there.. after registration den daddy jiu go hm le.. cos he say he veri tired n he is sick.. si i jiu ask him go hm lohx.. sianx.. i feel so lonely today.. cos no onw was there to accompany mi.. not even baby as she was having sch.. so its okie.. i understand de.. no worries okie.. heex..after op jiu alone slowly walk to take bus hm lohx.. din dare to sit cos its still veri pain.. reach hm sms baby n waited for her to cal.. had dinner so early today.. cos i was so hungry.. din eat since last nite cos b4 op canot eat de..
now talking to baby le.. so tink i shld jus stop here bahx.. muz fully 100% concentrate to talk veri my precious le.. so tats all folks.. good bye..
as u hav said.. tings are suppose to be good by now.. but its oso seem to get complicated.. most probably is due to the tings tat happen bahx.. but i wan u to noe.. u still do hav my trust.. n i still do love u like the past.. its onli tat i will get abit more sensative after those tings.. u shld noe wat im talking abt bahx.. n u hav not change.. is jus tat u tends to get into game more now den other ting.. its jus seems like u cant do wif out it.. n i feel rather neglected at times.. the other ting is.. u noe tat i dun quite like u to play game n talk to mi at the same time.. cos at time when u r rly into the game u jus cant hear wat im trying to say.. so tats y i nv play game while im talking to u.. jus take the other day as an example u jiu will understand wat im trying to say le.. i hav been trying my best to change for u le.. jus hope u can change abit jus for mi if possible..
but after all.. i rly do hope everyting will go back to be like the same as in the past lidat.. its jus so perfect in the past.. i dun like ting tat r happening nowadays.. i dun wan there to be any gap between us.. n of cos i oso dun wan anyting to happen to tis relationship.. nth can be more impt den u le.. so jus hope u will understand wat im trying to say bahx.. will find a chance to talk to u again abt all the ting.. i hav lots to tell u abt.. jus nd the time n place n i will spell out everything.. so u jus dun get too worry over tis k..
i oso dun rly noe wat im typing oso.. if u dun get wat im trying to say den jiu wait for the correct time to come n u will understand everyting le.. ciaox..