Friday, October 05, 2007Y
10:13 PM
jus got back from a day of work.. n im kinda no feeling tired at all.. not any at all.. i dunno y.. jus dun feel good bahx i tink.. n now its nite time le.. but nowadays i jus hate the nite.. sometimes nite seems kinda scary to mi bahx.. as there is oways bad tings happening during the nite..so yea.. in the past.. i will be scare tat we might get into quarrels in the nite during fone cals.. n jus early ytd everything jiu jus lidat ended.. n its happens in the nite too.. everything is oso in the nite.. n wats worse is nite time is the time when im free.. n thoughs will jus come back to haunt mi once again..
my boss ask mi wat happen to mi jus tis afternoon.. he say usually i will be making alot of noise n talking ard.. but i hav been talking much except when they ask mi something.. n he oso says tat i look so dead like a huo si ren lidat.. but i din tell him anything.. i din wanna let anyone noe abt wat had happen n all.. but am i rly lidat for the past 2 days mahx? i myself oso not sure at all.. dunno wat hav i been tinking oso.. haven been able to concentrate on work oso.. ytd while driving nearly knock onto someone.. den today bang the wall while driving again.. haix.. i jus cant concentrate at all..
other den during work.. i oso cant concentrate myself on doing anything.. my kor hav been asking wats wrong cos he say i keep at there fa dai.. n oso they said i hav been forgeting tings easily now.. i can ask or say abt something now n ask abt it awhile later.. but i jus cant rember i did ask or say abt it at all.. did i.. how come i dun even realise it myself.. but i still din not tell anyone abt tis.. gus i will jus keep tis all to myself bahx.. haveb been feeling good until now oso.. my heart still hurts alot alot.. rly alot.. but i hav to put up a strong n happy face in front of everyone when deep inside mi im feeling so down so sad..
hav been crying myself quietly to slp tis 2 nites.. jus kinda cant control at all.. i dunno y im lidat.. jus as the sky turns dark.. my world turns dark tgt wif it.. n my tear jiu will wanna start to flow down again liaox le.. its so xinku to keep control the feelings.. but i got no choice but to continue n control it bahx i tink..
jus read her blog jus now.. after reading finish everything.. i feel kinda happy tat she is feeling better liaox le bahx.. its good tat she will be able to let go bahx.. cos i cant bear to c her being unhappy or struggling to overcome tis.. wan xinku jiu let mi xinku alone bahx.. its okie wif mi de.. was chatting wif her awhile ago onli.. tink there was some misunderstanding jus now bahx.. but now okie liaox le..
okie.. tinking im gonna stop liaox le.. i dun even noe wat am i talking abt now oso.. enuf of my craps le bahx..
would we hav the chance to be tgt again mahx.. feeling so lost..