Saturday, October 13, 2007Y
8:07 PM
jus got back hm onli.. was out from ytd till now.. n i still haven slp yet till now.. aint feeling tired at all.. or maybe izzit tat my heart is dead liaox le.. im not sure oso.. ever since ytd nite.. i jus cant feel anything anymore le.. dun feel drunk when im drinking.. dun feel tired when i din slp at all n still continue go to work.. i jus cant feel anything now..got back from work ytd in the early afternoon.. actually wanna mit bi go watch resident evil de.. but yea.. she told mi was miting him.. so yea.. jiu din mit liaox le.. but in the morning she sms mi tell mi not mitng liaox le.. as she is not feeling well.. but after tat she change her mind n mit him still.. wanted to go register for my driving de.. but jiu totally no mood to do anything liaox le..
den recieve a cal from zip telling mi something.. n after hearing tat i rush my way down to ps.. im not gonna say wat i saw or wat bahx.. its enuf for mi myself to noe jiu can liaox le.. at the moment when i heard tat.. it seems tat my heart jiu stop le.. i was feeling so sad so sad.. so sad to the extend i cant control my tears while im on cab down too..
reach there n found her at long john.. she seems so happy.. but the more pain tat i feel.. went to find her n talk to her.. shall not say wat we talk abt bahx.. but yea.. after tat we jiu each went off for our movies le.. recieve a cal from her after her show.. den jiu went to find her lohx.. n tis leads to alot of other tings.. i learn to noe alot other tings which i maybe wont get to noe if tat din happen..
so we went to the carpark there to talk abt it.. but talk talk den everything jiu start to go awfully wrong le.. but i gus there was some misunderstanding on wat im trying to say to her bahx.. n she told mi she choose him.. her words rly hard mi real hard n real pain.. at tat point of time.. i almost jus breakdown.. den she jiu jus walk off wif out even turning her head back to give mi a last look.. n i rly breakdown real soon after tat.. can say tat its the first time i drop my tears in public in front of so many ppl.. everyone was like looking at mi.. but i jus got no energy to care abt them anymore.. so jus continue sit at one corner n cry the hell out of mi..
was feeling so damn pek chek when i hear wat he told mi tat she said to him.. tats y i was so unhappy n sad.. imy heart feel so pain when i heard tat.. its jus like as if u got stab by millions of knifes.. i would rather she rly stab mi so tat the pain will jus goes off after awhile n i will be gone for good.. nd not worry abt anything anymore.. tis jus isnt mi at all.. even when wif irene in the past.. i din feel so much pain oso.. but the pain tis time is jus so great.. too great tat till i rly cant take it liaox le.. at tat time i told myself to give up n i took off our rings n necklace.. but dunno y as i walk.. i took it out n put it on once again wif out mi noeing.. gus like kenneth hav said bahx.. i jus cant seem to be able to let go.. she is already like part of my life le.. losing her de pain is like cutting myself apart..
was feeling so bad tat i din wanna go back hm.. so jiu follow kenneth thry all to watch resident evil once again.. its a rly nice show so its worth to watch a second time bahx.. after movie.. mi n ken jiu slowly walk n made our way back to my hse.. was having lots of talks on lots of tings.. bought beer all tat n when up to my hse n drink.. jus drink n drnk n drink.. till morning den i jiu straight go work le n he went back hm..
finish work today n jiu went to cityhall to mit her.. suppose to get back my tings from her de.. but yea.. i din wan to.. i dun wan to oso.. its jus i rly she bu de.. n i din bring any of her tings too.. walk to ms there n sit down to talk.. i will once again not say wat we talking abt.. was feeling so sad while talking to her abt tat.. den after tat she wanna cut hair.. so jiu bring her go chapter 2.. but got alot of ppl there le.. so hav to wait quite long den end up jiu din cut le.. as she was having headaches.. so jiu took cab n send her back hm.. but while in the cab.. i hav got no idea when did she took out her ring n put it into my pocket wif even mi noeing..
i onli get to noe after she has alighted n sms tell mi.. quickly search my pocket to find the ring.. n yea.. i rly found it in my pocket.. at the moment when i saw thr ring.. i gus i hav rly totally breakdown liaox le bahx.. i was jus so stunt to c tat.. i din expect tat to happen de.. i wasnt prepare for it oso.. it came so sudden n rly knock mi rite onto the ground.. tried my best to control my feelings.. n till now im still trying veri hard.. wo xian zai zhen de gan jue hen xinku hen tongku.. i dunno wat does she mean by jus returning mi the ring by putting it in my pocket.. haix.. im so sad..
but yea.. i will jus take it as im temp keeping the ring for u.. n i wan to return u once u tink its hao le.. wo hui yi zi teng dao ni hui lai xiang wo yao hui na ge jie zi de.. wo hui yong yuan de teng zhe ni de.. yong yuan de teng dai.. wo zhen de hen xi wang ni hui hui lai gen wo na hui ta.. it wasnt wat i wan to get back the ring from u de.. i hav nv wanted to get it back from u.. i wanted it to be urs forever de.. :(