Wednesday, September 26, 2007Y
12:15 AM
firstly wishing everyone zhong chew jie kuai le.. looking down from my window i can still c kids carrying lanterns walking ard n playing fire crackers.. n here im alone sitting by my window side staring into the sky like an idiot.. frankly to say.. i hav nv play wif all tat b4.. cos i dun hav tong nian.. i grew up in an enviorment fill wif gangsters n problem n all.. so yea..n gus now the kids ard shld be enjoying mooncakes at hm bahx.. n yea.. mooncakes.. how do they taste like i oso dunno.. i gus will be tinking cfm anot.. nv play tis tings b4 nv eat mooncake b4.. believe anot its all up to u all bahx.. tinking of every year de tis day.. i would be oways tinking.. when will i ever get to eat one.. even if its jus a small bite bahx.. but u noe.. its jus tinking.. nth of it will come true..
jus like how i hav tink of all my relationships.. tinking tat i jus nd to put in my best efforts n everything will be fine everything will be okie.. but its has oways prove mi wrong.. i cant blame anyone for tis.. maybe its jus mi dunno how to love someone properly bahx.. or maybe its mi not noe-ing how to express myself good enuf.. im not sure abt it either.. but yea.. i can blame no one at all.. maybe not even myself.. cos tis is meant to be my life bahx i tink..
tml i will be working n nd to wake up early.. n i noe i shld be slping by now.. but i jus cant get to slp.. tried lying on bed closing my eyes.. but u noe.. my mind is still wide awake still.. tinking of tings.. alot of thoughs is running thru my mind now.. tinking of everything.. all the way from my sec sch life till now.. although its a fun n enjoying journey all tis while.. n i rly learn alot during tis period of time.. i learn how to c ppl.. i learn to control my anger.. rly alot.. i cant spell all out here.. but im rly glad abt it..
tinking of all my past relationships.. tings now n den is almost the same bahx.. its oways veri good in the start.. but as time passes.. tings jus go haywired.. to the extend tat its already hard to mend it le.. no matter how hard we try oso no use.. bcos wats done is already done liaox le.. nth can change it anymore.. i cant rewind back time to avoid those tings.. n in tis chapter of life.. i learn to live life as it is.. no point changing anything.. live to be urself.. not live to wat others wan u to be.. onli u can hav control over urself n not others..
anyway b4 i end tis post.. i wanna say.. im not aiming at hu or saying hu is at fault n hu is not.. its jus how our life is.. admit it n face it.. jus be urself.. be wat u r.. be how u r like.. changing into someone ur love one wans is good.. but tink properly b4 u do it.. how long can u both last.. n will u be able to take it or live wif it if everything has ended.. tats all le bahx.. gonna continue my stoning process n continue my tinking liaox le.. gones..