Saturday, September 08, 2007Y
8:04 PM
jus finish my dinner.. but i din eat much though.. got no wei kou.. jus ate 1 chicken wing n afew mouth of rice n tats it.. n here im blogging again le.. feeling so useless rite now.. its like as though i cant ever do anything well at all.. haix..woke up tis morning n prep n waited for bi to come over.. finally she came over at ard 12+.. den slack awhile jiu went out liaox le.. was okie at the start de.. den walk to my auntie shop there to eat her fav porridge.. while eating was talking abt where to go work at after i ord.. was feeling so fed up after tat.. so my expression wasnt veri nice.. while on the way to town bi saw my hand got some injury.. n she insist tat something is wrong when i already told her i oso dunno how come will lidat.. thus leading to some unhappiness..
reach ps den tings were better le bahx i tink.. but its onli for awhile.. but den found out tat bi din bring out the movie ticket.. was like making a waste trip there.. den bi say wanna go buy donut.. but half way you suddenly say dun wan buy le.. cos she was asking mi how far we hav to walk to suntec.. but i rly dunno the distance how do i ans u?? is not i wanna shoot u or i dun wanna tell u.. its cos i rly dunno so i cant tell u.. n u urself got walk b4 le.. u shld arga arga noe mahx.. n tis started the second part of our unhappiness..
so i jiu ask her again where she wanna go again.. den she keep say dunno.. haix.. i rly cant tink of any places le tats y i will ask u.. not i purposely wanna ask u de.. den the way she ans mi wat like so unhappy.. jiu jitao say go hm.. i noe my tone wasnt veri good to u oso.. im sorry abt tat.. but i was unhappy is cos the tone u use to reply mi.. n another ting was tat.. its jus like we jus come out for lunch nia den jiu go hm liaox le.. haix.. tat was y..
in the past u would still give mi ideas on where to go.. but not anymore.. i dunno y oso.. thus making mi feel so fed up so useless.. cos i cant seem to make u feel happy at all.. n oso cant seem to bring u out like in the past anymore.. its totally diff from wat we say we would do ytd.. wasnt feeling veri good while on our way to tamp oso.. but i was jus keeping it all to myself n keep disturb her jus to try forgeting abt it.. but i cant.. after we reach tamp n she went off.. the feeling jus came back..
its seems like i cant avoid it anyway.. so i jiu slowly took a train back.. went all the way to boon lay n den back hm.. my mind was kept so busy tinking of all those ting.. den slowly walk hm.. took longer den usual for mi to walk all the way to reach hm.. den come hm jiu msn bi tell her le.. cos i dun wanna keep anythings from her.. i dunno wat the outcome will be like anyway.. but i jus wanna let her noe.. how i wish nth has ever change n we r still like wat we r in the past.. but tings aint lidat anymore.. its alot more complicated den ever b4.. gus its gonna be hard to change the fact tat tings r rly different now le..
as for now.. i dunno wat im gonna do next liaox le.. still feeling so emo so useless.. gus im gonna stone for the nite le bahx.. gones..