Tuesday, September 04, 2007Y
6:34 PM
feeling so pissed off again.. actually i shld say disappointed.. totally disappointed.. utterly disappointed.. fuck everything tats happening lahx.. i hate it.. n i seriously hate my whole fucking life.. i hate myself..for tis whole week.. nth goes well for mi.. even starting from the first nite.. was talking to her.. she keep say i was being fierce which i wasnt even so.. but her tone was like as if she dun wanna talk lidat.. n i ask her if it is.. n there i was rite again.. she dun feel like talking.. ask her y but she din wanna say.. okie nvm.. den jiu forget abt it..
den ytd nite.. noe tat she is abit fan.. cal her n talk.. den at first was okie one.. but after awhile she jiu suddenly dunno wat happen.. jus kup my cal al of a sudden.. saying its cos of my tone n all.. everything seems to be my fault again.. its like wtf sia.. i rly din do anything wrong at all.. my tone was low cos i was rly having flu..
cal her back.. den explain to her everything.. den tot was okie le.. den wanna ask her wats wrong n explain to her how im feeling after tis fews days de ting tat happen.. but she jus suddenly shouted back at.. saying y am i keep repeating.. u wanna noe y.. now i tell u y.. its cos i care for u.. tats y i will say so much.. if u aint anyone to mi.. y the fuck would i care to waste my time talking to u all tis..
u dun wan mi to keep tings from u.. rember tat time u oso keep ask mi to tell u wats wrong.. but did i shout back at u.. i din.. so do u tink u r rite to shout at mi even if u r not feeling good.. no matter how bad my mood is.. when it comes to u i will still talking properly wif u.. y cant u jus do the same lehx.. i dun nd u to treat mi like how i hav treat u.. but at least do hav a limit mahx..
book out today.. although im tired n rly wish to go hm n put my tings first.. but u dun wanna go.. so i jiu jus follow u c wat u wanna do.. i oso nv omplain or say anything.. yes.. i did say tat its heavy.. but im jus telling u.. while talking to u jus now.. u jus seem like u dun care.. here im talking to u n there u r looking at other tings.. sometimes i do rly tink if u r rly listening to wat im saying.. den nowadays u abit abit jiu canot liaox le.. no like last time anymore..
reach hm jus now.. msn u.. but u nv reply.. msn u the second time den u reply.. u say tat u r watching show tats y nv reply.. but cant u jus open a window to jus tell mi wait first.. is it so difficult.. i hav rly enuf of all tis liaox.. there is no way i can keep it in n keep all to myself anymore le.. i rly cant take it anymore.. everything tats happening.. even if i were to tell u.. u will say n say n say till u win.. no matter watever i say i seem to be the one at fault..
i hav been giving in to u all tis while.. sometimes even if im not in the wrong.. i oso di shen xia qi n say sorry to u as if its like my fault.. sometimes while talking on fone i can jus do any simple ting tat u dun like den u jus kup my cal.. sometimes even if u scold mi i oso keep quiet.. eveything im oso taking it in for myself.. tink abt it urself bahx.. is it true anot.. hav i ever kup ur cal mahx.. how many time tat u scold mi i keep quiet.. wat ever ting u do i oso give in to u.. but wat do i get in the end.. more n more of tis unreasonable tings happening..
try telling u not to be so unreasoable b4.. but u jus keep say u din u din.. den wat can i do.. there is nth i can do anymore.. no matter wat i say u oso got ting to say mi back de.. hav u ever try tinking hwo would i feel anot.. in the past u hav nv treated mi tis way b4.. but now everything is so different.. so different from it is in the start anymore le..
y would i wanna say so much to u.. its bcos i care alot for u n im veri concern abt u.. nv would i noe tat tis to u is cal niam to u.. all i meant was jus good onli.. i din mean anything else.. i dun wanna c u unhappy too.. neither do u wanna c mi being unhappy wat.. tings tat u hav done.. i keep giving myself reason tat u r jus bored n trying to entertain urself tats y u will do tis.. i hav nv tink otherwise.. no matter how bad u treat mi.. i dun mind n i can still be as good to u as its like in the past.. i hav nv ask for anything more other den tis le..
do u noe how sad is mi to noe abt u having other darlings.. i noe u r jus playing ard.. but it still hurts mi alot to c tat.. but i told myself.. i shld trust u for being my gf.. if i dun trust u den there is no point carry on le.. but u hav nv made mi lose any trust in u.. cos i strongly trust n believe tat u wont do mi any wrong.. tats y i say wo xiang tong le.. i will let u continue wif it.. but its still hurts mi alot by doing tis decision.. cos im afraid i might lose u.. n i seriously dun wanna lose u..
n now.. im feeling so hurt again.. im trying to care for u but u say im keep niam u.. maybe to u is jus irritating i gus.. now tat tis has happening i rly dunno wat i shld do anymore.. im feeling so confused now.. i rly dunno wat i can do next.. nvm bahx.. i cant type in my feelings anymore.. cos im feeling to lost now.. n up till now.. my tears has been dripping ever since i start wif tis post.. i dunno how will u feel when u read tis bahx.. now everything is jus up to u to decide liaox le.. i wont wanna make u feel irritated by mi anymore.. n im sorry..
maybe u wont even understand wat im saying here.. cos i myself dunno wat im typing in too.. tats all i gus.. i will be gone from now on le..