Saturday, August 25, 2007Y
4:32 AM
back from a whole day out.. actually was feeling quite tired liaox le.. but dunno y till now im still wide awake.. i jus cant get myself into bed.. i seems stick to the com liaox le.. tats no one else but blogger for mi to spell out my feelings le..went out in the afternoon to mit bibi.. went to camp to take my tings first.. den cab over to prime to mit bibi.. bring her to c doc.. wait for veri long.. till she was there complaining le.. but yea.. she sick n she muz c doc.. so i wan her to continue wait.. took quite alot of medicine hm.. n bought her some sweets.. den jiu head hm..
reach her hse le leong cal mi.. so we jiu ask him come up for dinner oso.. did my ord ting online.. do until i pek chek.. but lucky got bibi to do it wif mi.. finally finish le n leong oso reach le.. den play maple for awhile.. gus i too long nv play le bahx.. totally forgot how to play liaox le sia.. den hav dinner at bibi hse.. she was saying.. i will onli eat veg when im at her hse.. u wanna noe y.. cos tats the place i feel more like hm.. but too bad it isnt my hm..
continue wif maple after dinner.. n bibi was complaining tat i play game n nv pei her.. so i jiu finish off n went to pei her.. all the way till abt 10 den i left her hse.. den mit leong at tamp n train back hm tgt.. reach hm chatted for awhile den go bathe.. wanna cal bibi de.. but she say she cough veri xinku so doesnt wanna talk.. den jiu okie lohx.. i din cal her.. let her rest for the day..
was feeling so down n emo after tat.. was tinking abt all those recently tings tat happen.. its makes mi feel so insecured.. i jus seem blur seem confused.. dunno hu to trust n hu i can trust.. im feeling so sad so disappointed.. being my dearest ard mi.. n they r all hurting mi more den anyone else is hurting mi..
chatted wif bibi.. n she consoled mi.. thks for ur care n concern.. thks u veri much.. thks for being there for mi all tis while.. wif out u i dunno where i will be now le.. but there r tings we still nd to be frank wif each other.. hope wat bibi told mi the other day was true.. already 1 hav left mi liaox le.. i cant stand another 1 leaving mi.. i sure cant take it de.. jus 1 left mi n now im lidat.. i cant imagine if i were to lose u.. wat will become of mi.. i dare not tink of it..
all the trust i put in u..all the trust i hav in u.. pls dun ever break it.. i trust n love u from the bottom of my heart n soul.. n i believe tat u wont do mi any wrong.. pls prove to mi tat im rite.. tat i din trust the wrong one again.. am feeling so emo so lifeless now.. sometimes i do feel its better off dead den mi suffering here.. but i cant bear to leave my loved ones behind.. hu will take care of them if i were to leave.. i told myself.. no matter wat.. life still has to go on..
everything life has a different storyline up for them.. some maybe sweet n some maybe sad.. whether its sweet or sad.. its our life.. we hav to admit it.. there is nth we can do to change wat is plan for us.. so we jus hav to follow it blindly to where it takes us to bahx..
i dunno wat im talking abt oso.. dun care mi bahx.. its jus mi n my rubbish anyway.. none of it makes sense.. continue my stoning process.. gone..