Monday, July 09, 2007Y
9:04 PM
finally i get connect to the internet liaox.. currently im at airport.. doing wat?? basically doing nth.. jus staring into the air tinking of my tings bahx.. gus i wont hav a good nite again tonite le..as for today whole day.. can say nth much bahx.. but there are oso quite some tings too.. i dunno wat im talking abt too.. woke up in the morning den pei baby sms while she is in office.. cos scare tat she will be bored.. although i din slp much the nite b4.. i still try to tahan.. cos i noe tats one of the few chances i can spend to pei her for now..
left hm ard 1155 lidat.. cos was miting baby for lunch.. but when i reach there i cal n sms her but i jus cant get thru to her.. its onli after some time tat she sms mi telling mi tat she was in a meeting n will be late.. i was abit angry at tat point of time.. but its was her tat im angry abt.. its her company.. its lunch time n they cal for a meeting?? wat the hell is so impt sia.. dun understand..
after she came down.. went to eat bk.. den go in to cold storage but sweets all tat.. relax awhile n there she goes again.. it rly hurts mi to c her lidat suffer in tis company sia.. but there is nth i can do abt it too.. haix.. went hm soon after she went back to office.. den cfm the timing wif jonathan n joseph.. mit them 515 at redhill mrt.. reach novena quite early.. so we decided to walk ard while waiting for baby to come down..
everything is still alrite at tis moment.. but as the train moves nearer to tamp.. ting started to change again le.. haix.. ytd nite ask her if she is willing to end her game early n talk wif mi she say okie she will.. but when i ask her again today she say she wans to play longer.. after hearing tat my heart sank.. its like as if it has fallen from 100 storeys n slap hard on the ground.. its okie if u wanna play game.. im jus requesting for a little more time on fone.. i jus hate it when someone tells u he/she can do it.. but in the end nth is done.. the feeling is so like shit u noe.. i dunno if u noe how i feel anot.. but wat if i was the one telling u okie i will but end up i say no.. its not been the first or second or third time le.. its been lots of time liaox le..
we once said if anyone of us has got something in our heart we shld not keep it.. but most of the time i wont say anything.. partly is cos i dun wan after saying it we hav quarrel or wat.. n partly is i noe watever i say u sure will hav tings to tell mi back.. so i gus its of no use oso bahx.. i noe after i post out from kranji the time we spend we each other is getting lesser n lesser le.. its good tat u understand tis.. n cos of tis u play audi to keep u ocupied.. i dun blame u for tat too.. but whenever i hav free time to spend wif u.. u will be playing audi.. sometimes even if u tell mi u will cal mi at a certain time u oso can forget n continue playing ur audi.. tats wat i dun rly like..
i noe there is no way i can make u quit audi.. maybe not even jus for mi bahx.. like u say.. it has become part of ur life.. but i dun nd u to quit.. i jus hope u can spend time wif mi together when i hav the time to spend it wif u.. tats all.. for now if u remain lidat maybe i still can able to get use to it.. but hav u ever tink wat will happen after i ORD?? i will hav even more feel time by den.. n dun tell mi u will still continue tis way?? u say its bcos i hav no time for u so u find some entertainment for urself.. but when i hav time for u.. u oso doesnt rly spend much wif mi too.. so wat shld i do?? wat can i do?? pls teach mi.. haix..
tis post here isnt to pin point hu is in the wrong or wat.. we both played a part in it too.. i cant say its ur fault n i oso cant say its my fault.. n for tis post here is not to argue or quarrel wif u too.. im jus spelling out wat i feel.. actually jus posting post here n there will make no diff de lahx.. wat we nd now is to find a place n time where we can sit down n talk abt it slowly.. seriously i dunno how long will tis last if tis continues lahx.. but if lets say everything goes well n after i ORD.. wat will happen by den? both of us will hav to learn to give mi to each other le..
aiya.. i oso dunno liaox le lahx.. u told mi its veri hard cos it has become ur daily life.. but u will try.. for tat i rly hope u will keep to wat u say tis time.. smoking was oso my daily life in the past.. n i hav been smoking for more den 10 yrs.. if i can quit it.. i trust tat reducing the time playing a game will be even more easy bahx.. so i shall wait n c for the result bahx..
i hope u wont be angry over wat im saying here.. i dun wanna quarrel wif u over tis oso.. n it din meant to be a quarrel.. whether are we talking anot tonite totally depends on u le bahx.. as for tml.. i hope everything will be fine n goes smoothly bahx.. gonna logoff soon le.. bye..