Sunday, May 06, 2007Y
12:54 PM
haix.. had a nice slp last nite.. hoping today will hav a fun n joy day.. supposing was miting baby de.. but she cant come out cos her mummy doesnt allow.. den everyting jus end so fast.. jus a blink of the eye n everyting is gone.. like i said.. i hate everyting tats happening now.. firstly of all was the changing of camp n unit.. was in such good camps unit in the past.. but was posted out to tis fuckup unit at selarang..2nd ting was to noe abt wat happen between mi n baby while i was in field camp.. but gus tats over le bahx.. not going to talk abt it anymore.. after tat.. was having lots of quarrel wif baby for the past few days.. we can even quarrel over small issue.. sometimes i wander was its the end of tis relationship.. but i told myself im not gonna give up on it.. im gonna continue n fight till my last breathe..
den now my family.. nobody seems to like wat i do n wat i say.. everyting i do seems to be in the wrong.. im always in the wrong but not anyone else.. there is nth i can do tat seems to pls them at all.. im a human not a animal.. i hav my rite to live as a normal person.. n seriously i do feel like punching the hell out of him.. but no matter wat he is still my dad.. i told myself i cant be doing tis..
everyone does wrong.. but y its seems like nobody is willing to forgive those hu hav done wrong in the past.. ya.. i admit i was a convict in the past.. so wat.. i hav change.. n change alot from wat im like in the past.. but wat the point of it.. nobody seem to care at all.. nobody believes it.. not even my own family members.. so wats the point of changing when no one cares n believe tat u hav.. i hav tried to convince them of mi changing to someone good.. not tat i din try.. n seriously im tried of tiring oso le..
im left wif nth now.. no one trust mi.. no one believe mi.. no one to listen to mi.. no one to share my feelings wif.. all im left wif now is my baby.. but she too cant be always by my side.. no one can be always by my side i gus.. n tis is the onli place where i say spell out everyting tat im feeling.. but nvm bahx.. life still has to move on.. i dunno wat to say liaox.. bye..